Ok - this is a shout out to all Canadian Olympians! What a wonderful representation on a World stage and way to represent the country! To all the medalists - you have made the country very proud of you. I was fortunate enough to be able to witness many of these medal performances through live coverage. This evening I watched 3 medal winning performances - Women's Curling Silver, and Gold and Bronze in a very interesting Men's 500m Short Track Speed Skating Race.
I want to mention that I learned something pretty profound today. In this 500 meter race, I watched some pushing, light bumping and two falls. I watched one body slide across the finish line on his back, and one body slide into the boards, get p and finish the race to say he finished. I then watched as there was a video review and a very decorate skater get disqualified, making the sliding skater the silver medalist, and the other one that fell and got up win the bronze. Moral of the story, even if the worst possible thing happens to you you get up, dust yourself off and finish the journey. You never know what will happen and you might just turn out to be an Olympic Medalist at the end of the day!
On a personal finance front, I was able to make my $550 debt repayment today, bringing my total for the year to $2200 paid to the debt whopper I have, Yay me!!
I've updated my sidebars to reflect my progress on all fronts - 15 no spend days, $400 into Emergency savings, $2200 paid of the $15200 planned for this year, and 16% of my debt gone. Having a pretty good day.
Since my last post, my boyfriend and I have had many evenings of relationship talk. We've had a friend over to help both of us separately, and will be having a joint session with her this coming week. The communication lines are very open right now. it takes two people to have a relationship so it also takes two people to have problems in a relationship.
I have not professed to be a Saint in this relationship, but after last week there were definite problems that needed to be aired, some very hurt feelings and some yelling. Things are moving forward, questions are getting answered and feelings are getting mended. Some eyes have been opened. Some realizations have been made. Relationships take work, and there is a whole bunch of work happening at the moment. We'll see where things get to.
I'm going to flip over to see how the Canadian Men's semi-final game is going and then turn in for the night. I am volunteering in the morning and I've baked 8 dozen cookies, and 2 banana loaves this evening already, plus watched the three medal performances. It's been a busy night.
Have a great weekend everyone! And remember, two people are in a relationship. Reflect on your own contribution. Regardless of the state of your relationship, do one nice thing for the other person, just because and maybe it will open a door that wasn't there before.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A total overhaul
So I wrote last time about giving up my Boyfriend for lent. Some of the commentors gave me food for thought. This is not a punishment for him. Truth be told we are existing more like roommates than a couple. There was very little intimacy to begin with, so I'm not really torturing anyone. I speak to him like I would anyone, but there is an odd air about the whole thing. I've just adopted a ME-FIRST attitude for the next 40 days. I will think about what I want, be completely honest when asked a question, and do things only for myself. I am not a maid, door-mate or pushover, and I will not continue to be.
After last week and the events that lead to my decision, I called a counsellor acquaintance of mine to discuss options for help for me. After a few conversations with her, and the reassurance that I am not the one that needs to have their head shrunk, she agreed to do what she's done best for him and that's talk until he comes clean about everything.
This is difficult for you readers to understand I know. Difficult because I have not told you what transpired, nor do most of you know either of us personally. Please understand this is going to make or break this relationship, and many things have come to a head about what has been happening with us. This time of apparent selfishness by me, so far has gone completely unnoticed by the other party. Which tells me that now is no different than two weeks ago.
There is a lot of back story involved here. More than I care to offer up in this forum.
I have a great decision to make. I'm hoping that my acquaintance can aid him in some of his struggles of late.
This will give me some much needed time to think about how to truly get what I want in life, with everything.
There is a book I will leave out. And a movie that goes with it.
If anyone has seen it or read it, it's called The Love Dare. The movie was produced by the gentlemen who did Facing the Giants - my favourite. The book was written with this in mind and gives you the step by step guide to repairing your marriage/relationship if major things have gone wrong.
I've been with my man for 3.5 years. We haven't been on a date in something like 2 years now. I've asked him to go on dates with me, but he throws my money journey in my face, and refuses, saying that it's money I don't need to spend. He hasn't asked me out to dinner since..... The last thing we did as a couple was visit my sister and her fiance - at the beginning of valentines weekend, which is what started this whole thing. Prior to that it was dinner with my Gail group. Prior to that it was hosting my family for my mom's birthday. Christmas, his friends' birthday in December, and then the move. Before that I can't remember - probably my best friends' wedding in June.
Note that all of the stuff we've done is with others, and mostly because I'm a social person. it hasn't been for lack of trying I'll tell you that. Needless to say this time will be interesting.
I hope his friend - my acquaintance, can help him in a way I apparently cannot.
After last week and the events that lead to my decision, I called a counsellor acquaintance of mine to discuss options for help for me. After a few conversations with her, and the reassurance that I am not the one that needs to have their head shrunk, she agreed to do what she's done best for him and that's talk until he comes clean about everything.
This is difficult for you readers to understand I know. Difficult because I have not told you what transpired, nor do most of you know either of us personally. Please understand this is going to make or break this relationship, and many things have come to a head about what has been happening with us. This time of apparent selfishness by me, so far has gone completely unnoticed by the other party. Which tells me that now is no different than two weeks ago.
There is a lot of back story involved here. More than I care to offer up in this forum.
I have a great decision to make. I'm hoping that my acquaintance can aid him in some of his struggles of late.
This will give me some much needed time to think about how to truly get what I want in life, with everything.
There is a book I will leave out. And a movie that goes with it.
If anyone has seen it or read it, it's called The Love Dare. The movie was produced by the gentlemen who did Facing the Giants - my favourite. The book was written with this in mind and gives you the step by step guide to repairing your marriage/relationship if major things have gone wrong.
I've been with my man for 3.5 years. We haven't been on a date in something like 2 years now. I've asked him to go on dates with me, but he throws my money journey in my face, and refuses, saying that it's money I don't need to spend. He hasn't asked me out to dinner since..... The last thing we did as a couple was visit my sister and her fiance - at the beginning of valentines weekend, which is what started this whole thing. Prior to that it was dinner with my Gail group. Prior to that it was hosting my family for my mom's birthday. Christmas, his friends' birthday in December, and then the move. Before that I can't remember - probably my best friends' wedding in June.
Note that all of the stuff we've done is with others, and mostly because I'm a social person. it hasn't been for lack of trying I'll tell you that. Needless to say this time will be interesting.
I hope his friend - my acquaintance, can help him in a way I apparently cannot.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
I'm giving up my boyfriend for Lent
curious now aren't ya?!
So after some pretty upsetting events this past weekend, and last night, I've decided to give him up for Lent. We have not broken up. Let me explain what I mean:
For the next 40 days and 40 nights I'll only be doing things I want to do when I want to do it, and not really concerning myself with him. The reason for this I will leave out. What I will tell you is that you do not ever want to hear certain things come from the person you are married to/want to marry/been with for nearly 4 years of your life. In that tone then, for the next 40 days and 40 nights I will not be concerning myself with anything to do with him.
It is an odd choice. It will be difficult at first. It will inevitably help me decide whether I can get past things or not. What it will also force me to do is become completely open and 100% honest about everything that I'm feeling, thinking, doing, etc. Not that I haven't been, but I'm sure all of you have times when you just bite your tongue over something for some reason or another. This will force me to stop doing that. Some serious personal growth will happen on my part, and hopefully his.
We'll see.
So after some pretty upsetting events this past weekend, and last night, I've decided to give him up for Lent. We have not broken up. Let me explain what I mean:
For the next 40 days and 40 nights I'll only be doing things I want to do when I want to do it, and not really concerning myself with him. The reason for this I will leave out. What I will tell you is that you do not ever want to hear certain things come from the person you are married to/want to marry/been with for nearly 4 years of your life. In that tone then, for the next 40 days and 40 nights I will not be concerning myself with anything to do with him.
It is an odd choice. It will be difficult at first. It will inevitably help me decide whether I can get past things or not. What it will also force me to do is become completely open and 100% honest about everything that I'm feeling, thinking, doing, etc. Not that I haven't been, but I'm sure all of you have times when you just bite your tongue over something for some reason or another. This will force me to stop doing that. Some serious personal growth will happen on my part, and hopefully his.
We'll see.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
First Financial Book of the Year
So far I've read 2 personal reading books and am in the beginning of the third book. This is a review of the first Financial Book of the year.
I'm reviewing Gail Vaz Oxlade's Debt-Free Forever. Handily enough, the Gail group I belong to is also working our way through her book. First of all, I took the approach going into this book that I would read and follow along in all activities just as Gail says. I wanted to do this because I wanted to make sure I'm truly, honestly on track for getting out of debt when I want to and that my budget is on track.
Part 1 - Figure Out Where You Stand
In this part there are 2 Chapters. Analyze Your Spending and Face Up to Your Debt.
The first chapter is the part where you do the math. You grab yourself a glass of wine, and all the financial statements you have. Gail says to find 6 months worth of these statement - credit card, debit card, insurance amounts, receipts, pay stubs and all that stuff. So, Gail says it's time to do the math, so I sat down and did the math. I grabbed a hot chocolate, turned on Gail's TTDUP show on a Friday night and systematically went through 6 months of my statements. What I found at the end of my entering knocked my socks completely off.
My socks, having flow across the room and run screaming behind the couch, were not the only things that flew across the room - I'm pretty sure I also inadvertently tossed the pen, half the statements and my credit card and debit card. Here is why...
I'd sat down and done a study like this a while ago, when I found Gail. It helped me get a budget together for the beginning of last year. I was diligent for the first month n this budget and managed to have $160 left at the end of that month. Then for reasons I can't even remember now, I started to fall off the wagon, not tracking things, not paying attention to spending and the like. What happened is I fell off the wagon the first time i tried Gail's budget. The 6 months of paperwork I used for her exercise in chapter 1 were from Feb to Aug of last year. What I found after adding all the things up was this.....I had been over spending for 6 straight months by nearly my whole take-home pay. Enter Panic attack.
This explains why I've been diligently making debt repayments that haven't changed the actual overall balance on the card since the beginning of last year. Effectively I've been spinning my wheels. Ok. Spending Analyzed. Self Discovery started. I suck at making sure I write things down. I can't suck at this anymore.
I have stemmed the outgoing flow. I started the budget and Gail's Jars again in September and have been doing pretty well on it. I can most definitely be doing better.
Panic Attack subsiding, I picked up my socks, and the papers, the writing utensils collected and those cards put somewhere other than my wallet. Alright Gail now what?
Chapter 2 tells me to Fess up to my Debt.
I've made a list of my debt. It currently has one credit card on it. It also has the $500 of overdraft protection I have on my bank account. By the way, over protection is DEBT. Yes, that's right, D E B T. This is money you've agreed to borrow from the bank if you decide to not pay attention to your money. This means it is a D E B T. Ok list made. 2 items. One is massive, the other something I can deal with right now. it means an extra $3 back in my pocket not going to someone else. Here's the thing. I haven't done it yet. Looks like I have a task for this week. Once my paycheck is deposited, the mileage cheque is placed into my Work Fund, the extra hours into my debt repayment, the medical expenses back into the medical jar, and the work expenses back onto the credit card, I'll remove the over draft protection on my account. This will move item number 2 form my debt list and mean I officially, truthfully, honestly only have one debt on my list.
Because I only have one debt, I only have one minimum payment I need to make each month. Good for me I already make more than that minimum payment each month. Good for me that I already know what my debt is costing me. I already know that I've been paying it off way too long. I'd hit the wall in terms of financial burnout long ago, and I didn't realize it truly until I went through this exercise. I talked about debt burnout a couple of weeks ago, but I hadn't actually realized I'd hit that wall a while ago, and had been trying to get back out of the rut ever since.
I did some great things this past year - car loan gone, 2nd credit card gone, on a budget, in a Gail club. I don't think I had truly climbed back on that horse until i completed this exercise though. Some serious self-discovery going on. I can feel I'm revving bak up to take this debt out swiftly completely and forever. I'm excited for things like pay days so I can make that payment.
At the end of Chapter 2, Gail says this: "You've been working hard with the figures and it's time to take a break and do something different. Part of being successful with your money involves knowing what you want from your life."
So far I've learned that to be truthful with myself, I need to be truthful always. Part of what i've learned so far is that I have HAVE have to write this out. Every day. I have to make sure my budget binder is with me always. I have to make sure that the receipts are going into the jars. I have to make sure I am getting receipts for everything.
I took a break here. I needed some time to process what I'd discovered.
Part 2 - Make a Plan
This section has 3 chapters. Chapter 3 - Decide What you Really Want. Chapter 4 - Create a Budget that Balances. Chapter 5 - Lose the Debt! Sense, check. Fear, check. Honesty, check. Alright ready to go.
Chapter 3 is perhaps the most useful chapter for anyone trying to get out of debt and figure out what they want in life. In this chapter we have to figure out what we want in life. By figure it out, I mean actually spend some time writing it down. Gail says this is the part that all of us - all of us - forget to do. We can't get out of debt if what we really want is to take a trip to someplace hot with our friends. We can't get out of debt if the first thing we want in life is a really flashy brand new car. All of us think we know what we want. The problem is that we carry it around in our heads and not on paper. Gail says, and I agree, that our brains are wired for immediate, in front of us choices and tasks, maximizing the happy-right-now feeling we want. This is the reason we get derailed from things like debt repayment. This is why we say we want to be debt free then go ahead and book a $3000 all inclusive vacation to the Caribbean Sea with our friends on our credit cards then complain when we get back that our debt got bigger.
So, out came some paper, and a pen and the titles Master List and Core Values. I talked about this a little while ago. I've made my lists. I have them tucked in my wallet now and I'm now able to pull them out once in a while and make myself feel better that I'm on track to getting everything I want out of life. Part of setting goals is knowing why you are doing it. Part of setting goals is knowing what you want, where you want to be, how you are getting there, why you want it and who you want to be around while you do it.
The last key part of this chapter is to find friends for your goals. Friends are great people. We all have them. Do they help us get to our goals, do they drag us down and hold us back because they secretly don't want us to succeed? Do they lend an ear, a back and a hand to help us when we need it and get it done? You've heard it all along, your friends are a reflection of you. Do your friends help you get to where you want to be? Wanna know what Gail says?
Sorry - you'll just have to buy/borrow the book to find out. This chapter alone is worth the cost of the book. I haven't read anything else in personal finance that makes you do a self-discovery trek as thoroughly as this book.
Chapter 4 - Create a Budget that Balances.
Done and done. If you need help, want to know more about the tips Gail gives or just need a little more in-depth help with this, grab a copy of the book and check it out. She writes a section on variable incomes and how to handle them, discovering what pushes you over the budget, and how to work together with a partner on this budget.
Chapter 5 - Lose the Debt!
Alright Gail, I'm ready. How do I lose my debt? Gail's tried and true - reduce interest, figure out what the debt is costing, cancel the cards and all that appear here. Most of it I've done already,thanks to her show. Snowballing is explained, cancelling credit cards makes sense if you know the trick. The best tip I found was this - whenever you get any extra cash - even $10 - you move it to your debt. I know you've all heard it before, but do you understand?
You can say - yes I know all this, yes I get all this, but how do I get out of debt? So yes you heard what was being said, but you obviously do not understand what is being said. Yes, reducing your interest rates, sure that'll help me not have to pay back so much - did you do it? If you didn't you haven't actually understood what is being said to you. Ya Ya a budget, I get it but how do I get out of debt?
Apparently you don't know what a budget is - a plan to help you understand where your money is going and allow you to get out of debt. Oh I'm soooo in debt, I make regular payments each pay check but I still can't get out of debt - I"m spinning my wheels. This one was me until i got to this point of the book. I realized my actions are not indicative of my true wants in life, they aren't helping me move forward, and apparently I didn't really understand what was being said.
No more credit cards! Stop spending on your credit cards, and stop spending more than you make and you'll suddenly start moving that debt backwards, closer to zero. and lastly - procrastination is the killer. You've heard it all before, you are looking for a magic wand, you complain to everyone you want out of debt, talk about it with people, but here's the thing; if you haven't started doing things to help yourself get out of debt you are procrastinating, and not truly understanding what you are hearing.
Pick up this book. Do all the exercises like you've never done them before. Follow along with paper and pen, statements and thoughts, and take the time to truly discover the real you.
Lose the Debt. This is the step I'm on right now. I'm losing the debt to the tune of $550 per paycheck, and $1000 from each of the extra paychecks I get in a year.
So far I've paid off $1100 of that debt.
This is where I'm at in the book at the moment. I'm reading through the next Part - Part 3. Part 3 is Changing your Habits.
Ill do another review after I get through this portion of the book.
The thing about this book that has me praising this over any other I've read is this, Gail offers you tips, tricks, and exercises that allow you to truly find yourself. Gail offers you a complete financial study. She takes into account that we are humans and all have feelings, and emotions, our own way of doing things, and our own little quirks. She accepts this from the beginning and shows you how to taylor this to you. But here is the thing, and she says it right at the beginning, IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO DO THE WORK TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT THEN YOU AREN'T TRULY READY TO BE DEBT FREE FOREVER.
So, I'm off to do work of a different kind for a little while. Then I'll come back to the financial work. I also want to sit down with my master list and core values again and add and tweak, remind and study what I've written out.
For now - get this book. Dog ear it, pencil mark it, highlight it, add flags and colours and notes in the margins. DO the exercises. Regardless of whether you are out of debt, getting that way, on a budget, or not, actually do the exercises Gail suggests. You may find something you weren't expecting. You may find that you are doing better than you thought. You may find something about yourself you didn't want to accept before, or even something you didn't know. The point is, regardless of where you are at in your personal finances, enter this book like you've never done anything and follow along. The only thing you'll get out of it is learning something new about yourself.
If you've done enough self discovery for a lifetime. If you've had your core values and master list in your purse/wallet/on your wall at home for your whole life. If there isn't anything you could possible learn because you've heard it all before and don't ever want to hear again because you've already implemented everything you could and STILL aren't out of debt. Don't get this book. Don't read anything personal finance blog, post, article, book or excerpt. Stop now. Run. Hide.
If, however, you are still not sure you've gotten everything right, know it all, or done it all, then pick up a copy of this book and do it. All this and I'm only half way through the book!
Happy weekend everyone - I'm off to clean my house =)
I'm reviewing Gail Vaz Oxlade's Debt-Free Forever. Handily enough, the Gail group I belong to is also working our way through her book. First of all, I took the approach going into this book that I would read and follow along in all activities just as Gail says. I wanted to do this because I wanted to make sure I'm truly, honestly on track for getting out of debt when I want to and that my budget is on track.
Part 1 - Figure Out Where You Stand
In this part there are 2 Chapters. Analyze Your Spending and Face Up to Your Debt.
The first chapter is the part where you do the math. You grab yourself a glass of wine, and all the financial statements you have. Gail says to find 6 months worth of these statement - credit card, debit card, insurance amounts, receipts, pay stubs and all that stuff. So, Gail says it's time to do the math, so I sat down and did the math. I grabbed a hot chocolate, turned on Gail's TTDUP show on a Friday night and systematically went through 6 months of my statements. What I found at the end of my entering knocked my socks completely off.
My socks, having flow across the room and run screaming behind the couch, were not the only things that flew across the room - I'm pretty sure I also inadvertently tossed the pen, half the statements and my credit card and debit card. Here is why...
I'd sat down and done a study like this a while ago, when I found Gail. It helped me get a budget together for the beginning of last year. I was diligent for the first month n this budget and managed to have $160 left at the end of that month. Then for reasons I can't even remember now, I started to fall off the wagon, not tracking things, not paying attention to spending and the like. What happened is I fell off the wagon the first time i tried Gail's budget. The 6 months of paperwork I used for her exercise in chapter 1 were from Feb to Aug of last year. What I found after adding all the things up was this.....I had been over spending for 6 straight months by nearly my whole take-home pay. Enter Panic attack.
This explains why I've been diligently making debt repayments that haven't changed the actual overall balance on the card since the beginning of last year. Effectively I've been spinning my wheels. Ok. Spending Analyzed. Self Discovery started. I suck at making sure I write things down. I can't suck at this anymore.
I have stemmed the outgoing flow. I started the budget and Gail's Jars again in September and have been doing pretty well on it. I can most definitely be doing better.
Panic Attack subsiding, I picked up my socks, and the papers, the writing utensils collected and those cards put somewhere other than my wallet. Alright Gail now what?
Chapter 2 tells me to Fess up to my Debt.
I've made a list of my debt. It currently has one credit card on it. It also has the $500 of overdraft protection I have on my bank account. By the way, over protection is DEBT. Yes, that's right, D E B T. This is money you've agreed to borrow from the bank if you decide to not pay attention to your money. This means it is a D E B T. Ok list made. 2 items. One is massive, the other something I can deal with right now. it means an extra $3 back in my pocket not going to someone else. Here's the thing. I haven't done it yet. Looks like I have a task for this week. Once my paycheck is deposited, the mileage cheque is placed into my Work Fund, the extra hours into my debt repayment, the medical expenses back into the medical jar, and the work expenses back onto the credit card, I'll remove the over draft protection on my account. This will move item number 2 form my debt list and mean I officially, truthfully, honestly only have one debt on my list.
Because I only have one debt, I only have one minimum payment I need to make each month. Good for me I already make more than that minimum payment each month. Good for me that I already know what my debt is costing me. I already know that I've been paying it off way too long. I'd hit the wall in terms of financial burnout long ago, and I didn't realize it truly until I went through this exercise. I talked about debt burnout a couple of weeks ago, but I hadn't actually realized I'd hit that wall a while ago, and had been trying to get back out of the rut ever since.
I did some great things this past year - car loan gone, 2nd credit card gone, on a budget, in a Gail club. I don't think I had truly climbed back on that horse until i completed this exercise though. Some serious self-discovery going on. I can feel I'm revving bak up to take this debt out swiftly completely and forever. I'm excited for things like pay days so I can make that payment.
At the end of Chapter 2, Gail says this: "You've been working hard with the figures and it's time to take a break and do something different. Part of being successful with your money involves knowing what you want from your life."
So far I've learned that to be truthful with myself, I need to be truthful always. Part of what i've learned so far is that I have HAVE have to write this out. Every day. I have to make sure my budget binder is with me always. I have to make sure that the receipts are going into the jars. I have to make sure I am getting receipts for everything.
I took a break here. I needed some time to process what I'd discovered.
Part 2 - Make a Plan
This section has 3 chapters. Chapter 3 - Decide What you Really Want. Chapter 4 - Create a Budget that Balances. Chapter 5 - Lose the Debt! Sense, check. Fear, check. Honesty, check. Alright ready to go.
Chapter 3 is perhaps the most useful chapter for anyone trying to get out of debt and figure out what they want in life. In this chapter we have to figure out what we want in life. By figure it out, I mean actually spend some time writing it down. Gail says this is the part that all of us - all of us - forget to do. We can't get out of debt if what we really want is to take a trip to someplace hot with our friends. We can't get out of debt if the first thing we want in life is a really flashy brand new car. All of us think we know what we want. The problem is that we carry it around in our heads and not on paper. Gail says, and I agree, that our brains are wired for immediate, in front of us choices and tasks, maximizing the happy-right-now feeling we want. This is the reason we get derailed from things like debt repayment. This is why we say we want to be debt free then go ahead and book a $3000 all inclusive vacation to the Caribbean Sea with our friends on our credit cards then complain when we get back that our debt got bigger.
So, out came some paper, and a pen and the titles Master List and Core Values. I talked about this a little while ago. I've made my lists. I have them tucked in my wallet now and I'm now able to pull them out once in a while and make myself feel better that I'm on track to getting everything I want out of life. Part of setting goals is knowing why you are doing it. Part of setting goals is knowing what you want, where you want to be, how you are getting there, why you want it and who you want to be around while you do it.
The last key part of this chapter is to find friends for your goals. Friends are great people. We all have them. Do they help us get to our goals, do they drag us down and hold us back because they secretly don't want us to succeed? Do they lend an ear, a back and a hand to help us when we need it and get it done? You've heard it all along, your friends are a reflection of you. Do your friends help you get to where you want to be? Wanna know what Gail says?
Sorry - you'll just have to buy/borrow the book to find out. This chapter alone is worth the cost of the book. I haven't read anything else in personal finance that makes you do a self-discovery trek as thoroughly as this book.
Chapter 4 - Create a Budget that Balances.
Done and done. If you need help, want to know more about the tips Gail gives or just need a little more in-depth help with this, grab a copy of the book and check it out. She writes a section on variable incomes and how to handle them, discovering what pushes you over the budget, and how to work together with a partner on this budget.
Chapter 5 - Lose the Debt!
Alright Gail, I'm ready. How do I lose my debt? Gail's tried and true - reduce interest, figure out what the debt is costing, cancel the cards and all that appear here. Most of it I've done already,thanks to her show. Snowballing is explained, cancelling credit cards makes sense if you know the trick. The best tip I found was this - whenever you get any extra cash - even $10 - you move it to your debt. I know you've all heard it before, but do you understand?
You can say - yes I know all this, yes I get all this, but how do I get out of debt? So yes you heard what was being said, but you obviously do not understand what is being said. Yes, reducing your interest rates, sure that'll help me not have to pay back so much - did you do it? If you didn't you haven't actually understood what is being said to you. Ya Ya a budget, I get it but how do I get out of debt?
Apparently you don't know what a budget is - a plan to help you understand where your money is going and allow you to get out of debt. Oh I'm soooo in debt, I make regular payments each pay check but I still can't get out of debt - I"m spinning my wheels. This one was me until i got to this point of the book. I realized my actions are not indicative of my true wants in life, they aren't helping me move forward, and apparently I didn't really understand what was being said.
No more credit cards! Stop spending on your credit cards, and stop spending more than you make and you'll suddenly start moving that debt backwards, closer to zero. and lastly - procrastination is the killer. You've heard it all before, you are looking for a magic wand, you complain to everyone you want out of debt, talk about it with people, but here's the thing; if you haven't started doing things to help yourself get out of debt you are procrastinating, and not truly understanding what you are hearing.
Pick up this book. Do all the exercises like you've never done them before. Follow along with paper and pen, statements and thoughts, and take the time to truly discover the real you.
Lose the Debt. This is the step I'm on right now. I'm losing the debt to the tune of $550 per paycheck, and $1000 from each of the extra paychecks I get in a year.
So far I've paid off $1100 of that debt.
This is where I'm at in the book at the moment. I'm reading through the next Part - Part 3. Part 3 is Changing your Habits.
Ill do another review after I get through this portion of the book.
The thing about this book that has me praising this over any other I've read is this, Gail offers you tips, tricks, and exercises that allow you to truly find yourself. Gail offers you a complete financial study. She takes into account that we are humans and all have feelings, and emotions, our own way of doing things, and our own little quirks. She accepts this from the beginning and shows you how to taylor this to you. But here is the thing, and she says it right at the beginning, IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO DO THE WORK TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT THEN YOU AREN'T TRULY READY TO BE DEBT FREE FOREVER.
So, I'm off to do work of a different kind for a little while. Then I'll come back to the financial work. I also want to sit down with my master list and core values again and add and tweak, remind and study what I've written out.
For now - get this book. Dog ear it, pencil mark it, highlight it, add flags and colours and notes in the margins. DO the exercises. Regardless of whether you are out of debt, getting that way, on a budget, or not, actually do the exercises Gail suggests. You may find something you weren't expecting. You may find that you are doing better than you thought. You may find something about yourself you didn't want to accept before, or even something you didn't know. The point is, regardless of where you are at in your personal finances, enter this book like you've never done anything and follow along. The only thing you'll get out of it is learning something new about yourself.
If you've done enough self discovery for a lifetime. If you've had your core values and master list in your purse/wallet/on your wall at home for your whole life. If there isn't anything you could possible learn because you've heard it all before and don't ever want to hear again because you've already implemented everything you could and STILL aren't out of debt. Don't get this book. Don't read anything personal finance blog, post, article, book or excerpt. Stop now. Run. Hide.
If, however, you are still not sure you've gotten everything right, know it all, or done it all, then pick up a copy of this book and do it. All this and I'm only half way through the book!
Happy weekend everyone - I'm off to clean my house =)
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
What is on your Master List?
I've been reading Gail Vaz Oxlade's Debt Free Forever - for personal and Gail club reasons. it will be the first of 5 personal finance books I want to cover this year. I started with this one for two reasons. First, because she is the voice in my head and the reason my boyfriend and I have a new-found respect for each other's money personalities. I have been watching 'Til Debt for quite some time now. I happened upon it one night long ago while flipping channels, and have stuck with it ever since. Friday night while C is off in WOW land with his friends, I sit in front of the tv with my Magic Jars, my bank statement, my budget binder, a hot chocolate and Gail - for 3 straight hours!
It's motivating for me to have the inspiration of the No-Nonsense Gail, the couples in need of help, and all my hard work at my fingertips.
The section we've completed for this meeting is Part 2 of her book. It's all about your master list and your core values.
Things on a master list for me:
Be Debt Free
Complete my letters
Complete my degree
Own a House
Have 2 children
Marry the love of my life
Find contentment in career and life
Curl on an Ontario and Canadian Champion Team
Become Healthy - by getting fit and sticking with the weight loss.
My Core Values List:
Be truthful with myself and with others
Be an active and present member of my family
Enjoy my family so I can have fulfillment in my life
happiness
contentment
joy
respect
There are other things but that's what I can remember tonight.
In order to do just about anything on my list and to fulfill my core values as listed, I need to get out of debt. This makes me truthful about my finances. Debt free allows me to save for retirement so I can enjoy my life well into my 90's. Debt free allows me to save for a house, put money away for emergencies, gives me the ability to visit family and friends, to travel and to do just about anything I could ever want in life.
Gail says your core values and your master list need to be in sync with each other. If you say your family is important but you have debt and would rather save for a vacation than gt out of debt you aren't actually in sync. So far most of the things in Gail's book are a re-iteration of what she says on TDDUP. The thing I like so far about this book is that I took a "start from scratch" approach to it. I've gone back and completed all the exercises so far. I found out some interesting things about myself and my finances so far and am eagerly reading through the next section of her book. I've found her tips helpful to put it all in perspective, and give you just that little bit more umph in your plan, and that bit more motivation to get it done.
if you watch her show, you'll feel like the first part of hte book you've already done. I urge you to start again. Follow along and maybe you'll learn something about yourself and your finances you didn't know.
Like this - I started Gail's jars in January of 2009. Did really well for the first month, then something happened and I got derailed. I can't remember what. From February to September, I was actually overspending by nearly my whole income. AHH! No wonder I was only spinning my wheels. Some good things that happened - I paid off my car loan early. Some better things that happened - I stopped paying for a weight-loss plan that I should be doing on my own without paying for pills and counseling. Now I''m on the jars. Actually on the jars for real this time and been that way since Sept. I have a visual board with my goals for this year. I have started making the steps to get myself out of this whole for the last time - to not return again!
I have figured out what my master list of stuff is, what my core values are and how the two mesh into what I truly want out of life. The next section is about reducing interest, and all those types of things. I've reduced my interest rate once already. I have the opportunity to balance transfer to further reduce it, but this will add on to my time in the debt so I've thought better of it.
So - what is on your master list, and what are your core values? Do they truly mesh or are you miles away?
How is your march to Debt Freedom Forever going?
It's motivating for me to have the inspiration of the No-Nonsense Gail, the couples in need of help, and all my hard work at my fingertips.
The section we've completed for this meeting is Part 2 of her book. It's all about your master list and your core values.
Things on a master list for me:
Be Debt Free
Complete my letters
Complete my degree
Own a House
Have 2 children
Marry the love of my life
Find contentment in career and life
Curl on an Ontario and Canadian Champion Team
Become Healthy - by getting fit and sticking with the weight loss.
My Core Values List:
Be truthful with myself and with others
Be an active and present member of my family
Enjoy my family so I can have fulfillment in my life
happiness
contentment
joy
respect
There are other things but that's what I can remember tonight.
In order to do just about anything on my list and to fulfill my core values as listed, I need to get out of debt. This makes me truthful about my finances. Debt free allows me to save for retirement so I can enjoy my life well into my 90's. Debt free allows me to save for a house, put money away for emergencies, gives me the ability to visit family and friends, to travel and to do just about anything I could ever want in life.
Gail says your core values and your master list need to be in sync with each other. If you say your family is important but you have debt and would rather save for a vacation than gt out of debt you aren't actually in sync. So far most of the things in Gail's book are a re-iteration of what she says on TDDUP. The thing I like so far about this book is that I took a "start from scratch" approach to it. I've gone back and completed all the exercises so far. I found out some interesting things about myself and my finances so far and am eagerly reading through the next section of her book. I've found her tips helpful to put it all in perspective, and give you just that little bit more umph in your plan, and that bit more motivation to get it done.
if you watch her show, you'll feel like the first part of hte book you've already done. I urge you to start again. Follow along and maybe you'll learn something about yourself and your finances you didn't know.
Like this - I started Gail's jars in January of 2009. Did really well for the first month, then something happened and I got derailed. I can't remember what. From February to September, I was actually overspending by nearly my whole income. AHH! No wonder I was only spinning my wheels. Some good things that happened - I paid off my car loan early. Some better things that happened - I stopped paying for a weight-loss plan that I should be doing on my own without paying for pills and counseling. Now I''m on the jars. Actually on the jars for real this time and been that way since Sept. I have a visual board with my goals for this year. I have started making the steps to get myself out of this whole for the last time - to not return again!
I have figured out what my master list of stuff is, what my core values are and how the two mesh into what I truly want out of life. The next section is about reducing interest, and all those types of things. I've reduced my interest rate once already. I have the opportunity to balance transfer to further reduce it, but this will add on to my time in the debt so I've thought better of it.
So - what is on your master list, and what are your core values? Do they truly mesh or are you miles away?
How is your march to Debt Freedom Forever going?
Monday, February 01, 2010
January Recap
January is gone, February is here. I spoke a little while ago about financial burnout. It seems I've had some lingering effects of this. I spent more on my online games that I budgeted, I had to use my credit card for work related expenses (that I'll be recovering, and replacing on my credit card), and I'm pretty sure my Food budget was blown way out of proportion. I'll have to check everything again but I'm pretty sure I blew it up real good.
Some things to fix for February - I must must must stay on budget in all categories. I must must must set up my work fund so i can leave all plastic alone. I must must must find free forms of entertainment.
For January, I paid $1100 back to my debt. I saved $200 in my emergency fund, $100 in my planned spending fund and $100 went to my RRSP's.
This weekend I went home to visit my family and spend some time doing wedding things with my sister. Did a little grocery shopping, found an undergarment that does what it says it will do with holding parts in that I'm having trouble with, and figured out that I have to start working harder on my body so I'll look good in the pictures at her wedding, and the others I'll be attending this year.
Watched 5 movies this weekend: Julie & Julia - cute and chick flick, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - cute, sweet and funny, The Proposal - chick flick and I had a moment there, Fame - not the original and could have been done better I think, and Twilight. Truthfully I'm disappointed in Twilight. They could have done this better I think. They could have made the flow and back story information necessary to certain scenes much more seamless. I'm sticking by my opinion of Robert Pattinson in this role (I'm not a fan). Vampires have a bit of an old soul feel than regular 17 year olds will have. I was expecting just a bit more from him in that sense. Though for the most part he wasn't as horrible as I was expecting. Carlisle was a surprise - and a nice one at that (in terms of the actor anyways). I'll watch New Moon and the rest of the series once it's completed by it's definitely on my Rent only list. Better still perhaps i'll check it out of the library instead, then it won't cost me money to watch. I can tell you I enjoyed the books immensely. I can understand why they wanted to make the transition to film on this series, but serious could have done a better job all around with it.
Unlike the Potter series, where I found that although you were missing some details, the movie actually did the books some justice, this series is not living up to that standard. And since you've got a huge following as the next series for the Potter fans, this should have been better done. There is a reason you strive for better than the current standard.
Just my opinion though.
Also I have started the Time Traveller's Wife - this would be book 3 in the personal books for the year thing. Please note that although I've already completed 2 in this category, I will probably slow down a little. I have a mid-term and oral presentation for the class i"m taking so the next book won't get finished for a while.
Some things to fix for February - I must must must stay on budget in all categories. I must must must set up my work fund so i can leave all plastic alone. I must must must find free forms of entertainment.
For January, I paid $1100 back to my debt. I saved $200 in my emergency fund, $100 in my planned spending fund and $100 went to my RRSP's.
This weekend I went home to visit my family and spend some time doing wedding things with my sister. Did a little grocery shopping, found an undergarment that does what it says it will do with holding parts in that I'm having trouble with, and figured out that I have to start working harder on my body so I'll look good in the pictures at her wedding, and the others I'll be attending this year.
Watched 5 movies this weekend: Julie & Julia - cute and chick flick, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - cute, sweet and funny, The Proposal - chick flick and I had a moment there, Fame - not the original and could have been done better I think, and Twilight. Truthfully I'm disappointed in Twilight. They could have done this better I think. They could have made the flow and back story information necessary to certain scenes much more seamless. I'm sticking by my opinion of Robert Pattinson in this role (I'm not a fan). Vampires have a bit of an old soul feel than regular 17 year olds will have. I was expecting just a bit more from him in that sense. Though for the most part he wasn't as horrible as I was expecting. Carlisle was a surprise - and a nice one at that (in terms of the actor anyways). I'll watch New Moon and the rest of the series once it's completed by it's definitely on my Rent only list. Better still perhaps i'll check it out of the library instead, then it won't cost me money to watch. I can tell you I enjoyed the books immensely. I can understand why they wanted to make the transition to film on this series, but serious could have done a better job all around with it.
Unlike the Potter series, where I found that although you were missing some details, the movie actually did the books some justice, this series is not living up to that standard. And since you've got a huge following as the next series for the Potter fans, this should have been better done. There is a reason you strive for better than the current standard.
Just my opinion though.
Also I have started the Time Traveller's Wife - this would be book 3 in the personal books for the year thing. Please note that although I've already completed 2 in this category, I will probably slow down a little. I have a mid-term and oral presentation for the class i"m taking so the next book won't get finished for a while.
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