Today, being the strange day that it is, I have found myself thinking of several items at once, all while trying to be a productive member of my company. You'll note, that I decided to blog out my randomness here. the plan is then I'll be able to be more efficient at the work I'm supposed to do.
While reading some PF blogs back to back I have come to the conclusion that I'm in trouble. Patience is such that it allows you to save for items you want to buy. It allows you to curb the immediate satisfaction of whatever you are doing due to some uncontrollable factor working against it. Gail says that we live in a world that is about immediacy and lacks patience. True. Punch Debt in the Face asked how long one can go without needing to replace ones income, and further, how quickly can you replace your income if you walk into to work today and they tell you you are fired/laid off. Got me thinking. The answer for me at this moment is I can't. My emergency fund is too small, my debt is too big, and I am a financial mess. Even though I have a budget, I'm not strict on it at the moment. Even though I have a really good set of skills that I'm confident I could get another job, it wouldn't pay me what I make right now, right away.
And watching Canadian Savings Net Worth grow makes me long for the day when mine will do the same. I've not had any personal emergencies like Asian Pear, and I am not without steady income like Girl Makes Cents. However, I am one paycheck away from being a financial catastrophy, like so many other PF bloggers admit.
This makes me sad, angry with myself, and reflexive at the same time. I have been here for a while slowly paying off my debts one by one. This last one seems to be a great hurdle that I'm having trouble overcoming. Pyschsarah might tell me that it's because of my self-sabatoging. I would agree. The trouble is, that even deeper than yesterday's post, I wonder why I''m doing it. I got through some surface stuff yesterday, but I'm not sure that has anything to do with the root of the problem.
It's like living with EASE. Or a holistic doctor. It's time to treat the cause of the problem, not just the symptoms. This way I get through to the core, and heal what apparently is hurting. So how do you do that financially?
Well, you can have all the tools one needs - budget, budget binder, tracking system, jars, support group, friends, and plan - but if you don't figure out why you aren't suing them then you won't ever go back to it. Laziness is a symptom, not a cause. Weariness is a symptom, not a cause. Boredom is a symptom, not a cause. What is a cause? Gail would say that perhaps these are causes..but more likely it's your need to be accepted by others that is the cause. 'The Jones' are the catalyst to the issue, but the cause is your ego and the need to be better, faster, stronger, etc. then them. Is that my cause?
Perhaps I am in a different sort of cause - one driven by a deep need to be taken care of rather than be the caregiver. Using this thought, I utilize money to "take care of myself" when I feel a certain way, rather than do something for the heart and soul of my body, like read a book or take a bath, or sit and watch the squirrels. Those actions would be caring for myself. Perhaps it's because, as my life coach put it, I do too many yin things and I neglect my yang needs. Wherein, I'm always out doing something active, and aggressive and "male", rather than listening to my body and providing it with a more calm, reserved, "female" activity. Balancing out the spirit in this manner...reading, relaxing, walking, crafting, yoga, pilates, leisurely activities, passive activities are yang "female", sports, running clubs or groups, kickboxing, active, aggressive, leading, activities are yin "male. Apparently, though passing the time watching some sort of Television based viewing item can be yang, it doesn't actually fulfill the soul or the need of the soul. It's like an inbetween thing.
I told you this was a mash-up! So, perhaps the way to fix my finances is found in the way to balance my soul. Taking time to enjoy more yang time - and ironically, free activities - is the way to get myself out of my financial rut, and into a financial state of balance. This weekend I'll be building my personal timetable and calendar. One yin activity, two yang activities, one household activity, and one financial activity. That should fill up my time for the next little while and keep me out of the credit card, away from the debit card and completing goals and activities on my list of things to do in life along the way. In keeping with that, I'll also have a weekend each month that I plan to do something time consuming and big - and off my giant bucket list. Whether that's try a new restaurant, learn a new hobby, visit an attraction I haven't been to before, or something like that.
Planning can be a little bit of a strict thing for me at times too - I only do well on a plan for a short period of time - then have to allow myself to do unscheduled things. Perhaps my plan will look more like this - List of household chores per week. List of bucket list items per year, list of yin and yang activities to choose from and the days will look like this:
Choose one yin, two yang activities for today. Do one chore today. Plan and decide on one bucket item for the month.
Monday - kickboxing, long bubble bath, read a few pages of book, wash load of dishes, pay bills.
Tuesday - gym for one hour, long shower, prepare delicious meal, dust living/dining room, put gas money in wallet
Wednesday - kickbox, long shower, read, tidy living dining and file all mail.
Thursday - bike ride, watch fav shows, call friend, vaccuum living/dining and sweep kitchen
Friday - laundry, stairs, dishes, clean bedroom, pay bills, call friend
Saturday - sleep in, read in bed, breakfast in bed, make bed, get dressed, kayak, check in with fiancial spread sheets and accounts, clean bathroom, vacuum apartment, do dishes.
Or something like that.
So question to you - what is the cause of your financial situation?
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Priorities
So what are my priorities?
Life keeps giving me challenges to puzzle through. That's what life does. So I have the tools to get through situations, but I've noticed a lot of self sabotage lately. Hmm.
Why you may ask. I didn't really know until just a moment ago. It seems that I'm self sabatoging because I"m trying to compensate for something else in my life that doesn't seem to be working out or making me feel good.
I've now received my credit card statements (yes plural). One I opened just recently, only to save 15% on purchases at point of purchase. I'll be paying that off in the morning. A whopping 28.8% interest is enough to make me throw up so gonzo it is! I'll also be cutting that sucker up just to make sure I can't use it again. And I'll probably close that account out also and get it off my credit score. Second card will be paid in full also - it holds my gym membership, which I really should switch to my debit account now, but it does earn me points by spending and paying it off each month - points that get me items with the money I've already spent on something else to earn those points. Making my dollar stretch more by using points from those dollars is a very lovely thing! In this case it saves me from spending more money on facial tissue and toilet paper. Not too shabby since I have coupons for those to reduce the price first, then use the pints and voila - 12 double rolls for 12 cents!
The third is the card with the unbelievable credit limit. Like I could buy an entire car on credit and still have room for a vacation. The trouble is I've consolidated all of my old debts, and loans, and stupidity onto this one card. It currently holds a balance equal to my car when it was new. (wow, I actually gagged!) Ill I'm getting.
So, my priorities lately have included making myself feel better by spending money on myself. Hmm. Self-soothing? Maybe. Moments of happiness. Definitely. Switch from eating myself better? Absolutely. Fixing my financial mess and getting me closer to my debt free date? A resounding NO!
So why am I doing it? Because I'm an idiot and it's easier than being an adult and dealing with things. I'm an idiot. I'm dong something stupid. I'm an intelligent person making dumb choices. Yes, Gail I hear you! I got the statement today - not as bad as I thought, not as good as I'd hoped. I'll be transferring money to the card in the morning as well. I've taken the money out for the next month that I'm allowed to spend. It's $200 less than what I budgeted - to get the feeling of hte strings being so tight I'll have to make my choices wisely. I'll be cutting up my two cards, and putting the third back in its place...where it will stay until the two weddings in September when I need it for the hotels.
April Fire - thank you for your comment. It has been something I've been thinking about quite a bit since February. My priorities, are mostly driven to getting the debt gone and being able to save and gain the future I want, including this man I'm with. Except when things happen that I don't feel I'm getting the attention I deserve or the support I need. Apparently that's more than I was willing to admit. My health - financial, physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, professional - is my most important priority.
It is difficult to continue to juggle all of those balls and feel well. It's no wonder I've been feeling off, stressed, tired, exhausted, quiet, reserved, small, invisible, unappreciated, and glum lately. I'm off. I'm acting contrary to my own goals. Time to get the pencil out.
What are your priorities? What do you actions say about your priorities? What can you do to change that/make it better?
Life keeps giving me challenges to puzzle through. That's what life does. So I have the tools to get through situations, but I've noticed a lot of self sabotage lately. Hmm.
Why you may ask. I didn't really know until just a moment ago. It seems that I'm self sabatoging because I"m trying to compensate for something else in my life that doesn't seem to be working out or making me feel good.
I've now received my credit card statements (yes plural). One I opened just recently, only to save 15% on purchases at point of purchase. I'll be paying that off in the morning. A whopping 28.8% interest is enough to make me throw up so gonzo it is! I'll also be cutting that sucker up just to make sure I can't use it again. And I'll probably close that account out also and get it off my credit score. Second card will be paid in full also - it holds my gym membership, which I really should switch to my debit account now, but it does earn me points by spending and paying it off each month - points that get me items with the money I've already spent on something else to earn those points. Making my dollar stretch more by using points from those dollars is a very lovely thing! In this case it saves me from spending more money on facial tissue and toilet paper. Not too shabby since I have coupons for those to reduce the price first, then use the pints and voila - 12 double rolls for 12 cents!
The third is the card with the unbelievable credit limit. Like I could buy an entire car on credit and still have room for a vacation. The trouble is I've consolidated all of my old debts, and loans, and stupidity onto this one card. It currently holds a balance equal to my car when it was new. (wow, I actually gagged!) Ill I'm getting.
So, my priorities lately have included making myself feel better by spending money on myself. Hmm. Self-soothing? Maybe. Moments of happiness. Definitely. Switch from eating myself better? Absolutely. Fixing my financial mess and getting me closer to my debt free date? A resounding NO!
So why am I doing it? Because I'm an idiot and it's easier than being an adult and dealing with things. I'm an idiot. I'm dong something stupid. I'm an intelligent person making dumb choices. Yes, Gail I hear you! I got the statement today - not as bad as I thought, not as good as I'd hoped. I'll be transferring money to the card in the morning as well. I've taken the money out for the next month that I'm allowed to spend. It's $200 less than what I budgeted - to get the feeling of hte strings being so tight I'll have to make my choices wisely. I'll be cutting up my two cards, and putting the third back in its place...where it will stay until the two weddings in September when I need it for the hotels.
April Fire - thank you for your comment. It has been something I've been thinking about quite a bit since February. My priorities, are mostly driven to getting the debt gone and being able to save and gain the future I want, including this man I'm with. Except when things happen that I don't feel I'm getting the attention I deserve or the support I need. Apparently that's more than I was willing to admit. My health - financial, physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, professional - is my most important priority.
It is difficult to continue to juggle all of those balls and feel well. It's no wonder I've been feeling off, stressed, tired, exhausted, quiet, reserved, small, invisible, unappreciated, and glum lately. I'm off. I'm acting contrary to my own goals. Time to get the pencil out.
What are your priorities? What do you actions say about your priorities? What can you do to change that/make it better?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
A few no spend days and some serious financial planning thoughts
Ok - so a quick recap shows that I have had 6 no spend days since the 21st. Not too shabby!
Some other things - I've received all my outstanding bills for everything I've spent on the weddings and what not that I am attending. So now I just have to wait for my expenses to come back, and my mileage checks from all the work related driving and stuff I've done of over the last month and I"ll be putting all that cash onto my cards and getting those suckers paid off.
I'm working on my whopping debt of a credit card. I've removed it from my wallet and will be storing it at home in something I very very very rarely even look in so it's out of sight and mind. It's time to get moving on this stupid debt of mine.
The plan states i"m to put $550 from every check onto this debt. So far I've been keeping with that. By the end of the year I'll have paid back $6,050.00 of the amount currently showing on my statement. I can't find any other place to squeeze money from as yet so this will have to work.
Next year - with there being 26 paychecks for the year - I'll have paid back $14,300 of the debt. Meaning that by the end of next year I'll owe just about $6,650 + Interest. Not too bad. I'm sure I"ll be able to knock this down even more, but for now that's what fits in my budget and that's what I'm going to do. At some point I'll probably move some of the money I have going to my TFSA over to the debt probably late next year to pay a bunch more of this sucker off. But that will put me back int he realm of quasi-reasonable consumer debt. Instead of out in space in a galaxy far far away - dealing with the Death Star and Vader!
I can't wait for this elephant to turn into a small lap dog. It is soo heavy!
In other news I'm a bit unhappy with a certain man I reside with. Seems it's ok for him to say to me, hunny I don't have any money to celebrate our anniversary with, and then turn around and spend $1500 on tools, and purchase a new-to-him truck to replace the soon-to-be-6-feet-under one he was driving. Huh. No money for anniversary because you suddenly need new tools and you had to purchase this truck now....yep. I got that message. Loud. Clear.
Been a month and still nothing more than a oh, by the way, happy anniversary, thanks for trying kayaking with me and the present you gave me, sorry I don't have anything for you. I feel like a loser - but only enough that you'll take pity on me and not scream at me too much when I go and buy $1500 of tools "for work" and a new-to-me-truck.
Some other things - I've received all my outstanding bills for everything I've spent on the weddings and what not that I am attending. So now I just have to wait for my expenses to come back, and my mileage checks from all the work related driving and stuff I've done of over the last month and I"ll be putting all that cash onto my cards and getting those suckers paid off.
I'm working on my whopping debt of a credit card. I've removed it from my wallet and will be storing it at home in something I very very very rarely even look in so it's out of sight and mind. It's time to get moving on this stupid debt of mine.
The plan states i"m to put $550 from every check onto this debt. So far I've been keeping with that. By the end of the year I'll have paid back $6,050.00 of the amount currently showing on my statement. I can't find any other place to squeeze money from as yet so this will have to work.
Next year - with there being 26 paychecks for the year - I'll have paid back $14,300 of the debt. Meaning that by the end of next year I'll owe just about $6,650 + Interest. Not too bad. I'm sure I"ll be able to knock this down even more, but for now that's what fits in my budget and that's what I'm going to do. At some point I'll probably move some of the money I have going to my TFSA over to the debt probably late next year to pay a bunch more of this sucker off. But that will put me back int he realm of quasi-reasonable consumer debt. Instead of out in space in a galaxy far far away - dealing with the Death Star and Vader!
I can't wait for this elephant to turn into a small lap dog. It is soo heavy!
In other news I'm a bit unhappy with a certain man I reside with. Seems it's ok for him to say to me, hunny I don't have any money to celebrate our anniversary with, and then turn around and spend $1500 on tools, and purchase a new-to-him truck to replace the soon-to-be-6-feet-under one he was driving. Huh. No money for anniversary because you suddenly need new tools and you had to purchase this truck now....yep. I got that message. Loud. Clear.
Been a month and still nothing more than a oh, by the way, happy anniversary, thanks for trying kayaking with me and the present you gave me, sorry I don't have anything for you. I feel like a loser - but only enough that you'll take pity on me and not scream at me too much when I go and buy $1500 of tools "for work" and a new-to-me-truck.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
A Pebble Tossed in a Pool can cause a Tidal Wave in an Ocean.
I read a post tonight on a new blog I was introduced to through a facebook acquaintance. The post was moving in a way that many things in this world have since stopped moving me. It got me thinking. About quite a number of things.
Predominantly, the thing I'm thinking about most is how often do our words or actions/inactions truly affect the people who come into our lives? I've heard the poem Footprints before - whereby everyone in your life is there for a greater purpose - some leave traces, some leave moments, and some leave footprints on our heart. How often do we really know someone that we've accepted into our lives for more than a moment? And how often do we ignorantly cause a ripple in the pool of life that radiates into theirs and gives them reason to hurt/rejoice/think/leave?
The post I read is not for the faint of heart, nor is it something that is meant to offend. If you look in my Social and Environmental blog section, I've added a new blogger. This woman I now very little about, except that she is a writer and seems to be quite a straight shooting woman. The post I'm referring to is called For Jessica. Some of you may have see posts circulating on facebook or various other blog sites sharing this. I encourage you to read it - though be forewarned it is heavy, will cause even the toughest man to shed tears, and requires some sort of water catcher to get through. It also provokes a deep self analysis (well it did in me anyways) into how you handle certain situations, and how many times you've walked away from something that you could have handled, simply because you weren't in a place to do so at the time.
So, the question I came to is what is your back story? Many of us wander through life choosing to use circumstances and situations to our advantage, or disadvantage as the case may be, but not truly embracing the life we have. The saying "it could always be worse" is often used to silence a complaint from someone we've grown tired of listening too, or perhaps because we simply choose not to accept the complaining and negativity. Sometimes we unconsciously ask our friends to be a listening post to air our frustrations, or to puzzle through situations with, or to simply ask for help (though often disguised in venting and complaining). Often times that listening post is not prepared for what we have to say, or is not equipped with the tools needed to help deal with the situation, no matter how much we want them to be able to. We've all come from somewhere and we are all going somewhere. What happened in our lives has paved the path we've taken thus far and will continue to lay ground ahead. I refrained from using the phrase what happened to us, because I think that's a very shallow way of saying it. It didn't happen to us, it just happened. Whether through our own choice, or through a consequence of a choice we made long ago, or perhaps we didn't ask it or choose it at all. It just happened because of someone else making a choice, or because someone or something made the choice for us.
The point is what happened in your life didn't happen to just you. By intensely personalizing everything in your life as happening to you, negates the fact that others were affected by it as well. Each of us has something in our past that feels bleak to us, but perhaps is a step up from another situation. Personal perspective is a wondrous thing. The same situation told by 1 voice or 14 voices or 1400 voices always has a different perspective because we are all uniquely different.
The post I read invoked reflection in me. It also invoked a sadness for the writer because of the picture given about what seems to be an ignorant friend. However, I believe that the author has it bang on when the understanding that the universe she revolves in is world's away from those of her friends. Having never had to live through a situation that could even parallel the author's, leaves me lacking in empathy, but overflowing in sympathy, because I'd could never understand how she felt, because I've never felt it too. In my wildest dreams I had not thought that a situation like that was even possible, but with nearly 7 billion people on the planet how could it not have happened at least once? Unless you were present and involved in the situation, it is hard to put ourselves empathetically into the others shoes. Sympathy is something we can all feel no matter the situation. The trouble is that there are times when empathy is what is needed.
This brings me to another thought and another blogger I read. SQ takes a reflective approach to life. She marvels in the tiny beauty of the world that most of us forget, are blind too, are too busy to see. Perhaps if we carved out an hour a day/week/month in our lives to simply sit and watch
The people who get through each day in the most dire of situations, are tired, but still have the energy to provide company for others, to find happiness for others, to make the hardest decisions in life, and still keep getting up each day. Inner strength is almost not enough to describe certain people. And yet other times the inner strength shown by some is inadequate when presented with a harder test.
Given that this is a personal finances blog, what this boils down to, is I think I've found the inspiration to squash my complaints, my fits and tantrums about wanting to satisfy my "now" demand over my "soon" wish. Not that I haven't had enough to show me the straight and true path already. Sometimes though it just takes something at the right moment to put things into the light that touches you in a deeply buried, dark, cobwebbed corner of your brain to make you get over yourself and just get going.
If you can do it, I can do it. Action becomes Priority. If you say you can, you can. If you say you can't, you can't. All of these are used to try to pump up the spirit and the body and evoke action. All are just words until the person requiring the pumping sets their mind to doing it. At the end of it all Yoda really does have it right: "Do or do not, there is no try."
The lady in the blog continues to do. Those in life that I've met and that have crossed my path continue to do. Their back story was written, but is not the pool in which they wallow. It is the path that once was. For some it is the path that continues. For me it is the path that has shaped the path I've walked, coloured it and made it so. It is the path that I remember. Your memory of my path may not be layed with the same stones or the same pattern, but there are areas that your imprint sits upon that brighten or darken the path I remember walking.
Your actions and words will help lay the stones and accoutrement's of my future path and direction. What ripple will you leave? What stone will you lay with me? What influence on direction will you have on me? I do not know, but understand that everything we do, that I do, that you do, can ripple the water, or change the colour, or create a hole in someones life. Ignorance, misplaced humour, a kind word, a malice intention all have the same ripple-creating ability none more than any other. The difference is the pool in which I've been swimming when that stone is cast will cause a different reaction than the one from which you swam. The difference is the back story I carry with me and it's affect on me, and the life I am leading. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me", is the most inaccurate, understated saying I've ever heard. The truth is, while sticks and stones may break my bones, the wounds from which I'll heal. Words will cut, will shred and tear, and break my inner soul. Some may soothe, some may harm. Once spoken they become more powerful than light itself, from these wounds I won't ever heal.
More than that though, the ripple from the words you use or the action/inaction you take have far reaching effect on life - yours or others. A butterfly flapping it's wings in China can cause a hurricane in Nova Scotia...
Predominantly, the thing I'm thinking about most is how often do our words or actions/inactions truly affect the people who come into our lives? I've heard the poem Footprints before - whereby everyone in your life is there for a greater purpose - some leave traces, some leave moments, and some leave footprints on our heart. How often do we really know someone that we've accepted into our lives for more than a moment? And how often do we ignorantly cause a ripple in the pool of life that radiates into theirs and gives them reason to hurt/rejoice/think/leave?
The post I read is not for the faint of heart, nor is it something that is meant to offend. If you look in my Social and Environmental blog section, I've added a new blogger. This woman I now very little about, except that she is a writer and seems to be quite a straight shooting woman. The post I'm referring to is called For Jessica. Some of you may have see posts circulating on facebook or various other blog sites sharing this. I encourage you to read it - though be forewarned it is heavy, will cause even the toughest man to shed tears, and requires some sort of water catcher to get through. It also provokes a deep self analysis (well it did in me anyways) into how you handle certain situations, and how many times you've walked away from something that you could have handled, simply because you weren't in a place to do so at the time.
So, the question I came to is what is your back story? Many of us wander through life choosing to use circumstances and situations to our advantage, or disadvantage as the case may be, but not truly embracing the life we have. The saying "it could always be worse" is often used to silence a complaint from someone we've grown tired of listening too, or perhaps because we simply choose not to accept the complaining and negativity. Sometimes we unconsciously ask our friends to be a listening post to air our frustrations, or to puzzle through situations with, or to simply ask for help (though often disguised in venting and complaining). Often times that listening post is not prepared for what we have to say, or is not equipped with the tools needed to help deal with the situation, no matter how much we want them to be able to. We've all come from somewhere and we are all going somewhere. What happened in our lives has paved the path we've taken thus far and will continue to lay ground ahead. I refrained from using the phrase what happened to us, because I think that's a very shallow way of saying it. It didn't happen to us, it just happened. Whether through our own choice, or through a consequence of a choice we made long ago, or perhaps we didn't ask it or choose it at all. It just happened because of someone else making a choice, or because someone or something made the choice for us.
The point is what happened in your life didn't happen to just you. By intensely personalizing everything in your life as happening to you, negates the fact that others were affected by it as well. Each of us has something in our past that feels bleak to us, but perhaps is a step up from another situation. Personal perspective is a wondrous thing. The same situation told by 1 voice or 14 voices or 1400 voices always has a different perspective because we are all uniquely different.
The post I read invoked reflection in me. It also invoked a sadness for the writer because of the picture given about what seems to be an ignorant friend. However, I believe that the author has it bang on when the understanding that the universe she revolves in is world's away from those of her friends. Having never had to live through a situation that could even parallel the author's, leaves me lacking in empathy, but overflowing in sympathy, because I'd could never understand how she felt, because I've never felt it too. In my wildest dreams I had not thought that a situation like that was even possible, but with nearly 7 billion people on the planet how could it not have happened at least once? Unless you were present and involved in the situation, it is hard to put ourselves empathetically into the others shoes. Sympathy is something we can all feel no matter the situation. The trouble is that there are times when empathy is what is needed.
This brings me to another thought and another blogger I read. SQ takes a reflective approach to life. She marvels in the tiny beauty of the world that most of us forget, are blind too, are too busy to see. Perhaps if we carved out an hour a day/week/month in our lives to simply sit and watch
The people who get through each day in the most dire of situations, are tired, but still have the energy to provide company for others, to find happiness for others, to make the hardest decisions in life, and still keep getting up each day. Inner strength is almost not enough to describe certain people. And yet other times the inner strength shown by some is inadequate when presented with a harder test.
Given that this is a personal finances blog, what this boils down to, is I think I've found the inspiration to squash my complaints, my fits and tantrums about wanting to satisfy my "now" demand over my "soon" wish. Not that I haven't had enough to show me the straight and true path already. Sometimes though it just takes something at the right moment to put things into the light that touches you in a deeply buried, dark, cobwebbed corner of your brain to make you get over yourself and just get going.
If you can do it, I can do it. Action becomes Priority. If you say you can, you can. If you say you can't, you can't. All of these are used to try to pump up the spirit and the body and evoke action. All are just words until the person requiring the pumping sets their mind to doing it. At the end of it all Yoda really does have it right: "Do or do not, there is no try."
The lady in the blog continues to do. Those in life that I've met and that have crossed my path continue to do. Their back story was written, but is not the pool in which they wallow. It is the path that once was. For some it is the path that continues. For me it is the path that has shaped the path I've walked, coloured it and made it so. It is the path that I remember. Your memory of my path may not be layed with the same stones or the same pattern, but there are areas that your imprint sits upon that brighten or darken the path I remember walking.
Your actions and words will help lay the stones and accoutrement's of my future path and direction. What ripple will you leave? What stone will you lay with me? What influence on direction will you have on me? I do not know, but understand that everything we do, that I do, that you do, can ripple the water, or change the colour, or create a hole in someones life. Ignorance, misplaced humour, a kind word, a malice intention all have the same ripple-creating ability none more than any other. The difference is the pool in which I've been swimming when that stone is cast will cause a different reaction than the one from which you swam. The difference is the back story I carry with me and it's affect on me, and the life I am leading. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me", is the most inaccurate, understated saying I've ever heard. The truth is, while sticks and stones may break my bones, the wounds from which I'll heal. Words will cut, will shred and tear, and break my inner soul. Some may soothe, some may harm. Once spoken they become more powerful than light itself, from these wounds I won't ever heal.
More than that though, the ripple from the words you use or the action/inaction you take have far reaching effect on life - yours or others. A butterfly flapping it's wings in China can cause a hurricane in Nova Scotia...
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
*Gasp* WHAT?!?
Ok, so Monday happened. Worked a 12 hour day. Did some of you instinctively go "Yay, overtime!"? Yep except that I'm salaried, so instead I gave back my sanity time at the apartment on my own before the man gets home.
The *gasp* was because I got through yesterday as a no-spend day!! w00t!!
The WHAT?!?!? Happened this morning after taking my car in for a routine oil change and asking the body shop to check out the rattle sound currently coming from my front stabilizers, and what I thought was a heat shield that had slipped (which I was completely correct on). I also asked them about perhaps getting two stone chips fixed in the windshield, prior to them turning into cracks, since one has a funny little bubble around it - so I'm thinking crack waiting to happen. What I wasn't quite expecting was the $500 + bill for the complete repair and the oil change. Oh, it was also time for a transmission fluid flush. So, here's the issue - I just this morning switched $500 to my credit card balance to begin knocking it down. I have about $2500 in an emergency fund I can use, but it's with ING, so I'd have to go home, get the card, go to the bank, extract the money, then go to the body shop to pay for the repair, or I simply put it on the credit card - which yes I totally didn't remove from my wallet, just in case of today. I could put it on the card, transfer the ING money out, wait for it to arrive in my chequing account and then put it back n the credit card...which is what I'm going to do....but I was hoping to not have to do it that way. Ah well - at least I have an account for this kind of thing so I'm not totally blowing up.
Incidently, I knew there was a rattle, so I was glad it wasn't something more like the suspension needing replacement, but still....not a nice surprise on the price. Meh. it happens I guess. The car is 5 years old, and I have driven more than 168,000 km with it. (Thank goodness I live super close to work now!!)
So some good things have happened - 1 no spend day so far, Rogers bill arrived yesterday and it was only $165.42 (yep $9.58 less than my budgeted amount!, paid it this morning, and the car will be in top working condition again, even if slightly expensive.
An aside to this post: For all you people looking for a good deal in your area, or perhaps in a city you are visiting...go to www.stealthedeal.com It's a Canadian site that has coupons for items in your area for anywhere from 55-90% off!! Sunday I landed a coupon at a newer automotive repair store $240 worth of service for $40!!! 3 oil changes, 2 brake inspections and a bunch of other things! I've seen deals for hair salons that have been pretty decent, including colour services! I've seen restaurant packages that have been pretty good - why pay full price when you can get a $50 meal for $26? What a way to make your entertainment budget stretch!!! A different deal each 24 hours. You can buy multiples, but you HAVE to give more then the first one away...so if there are birthdays coming up, or anniversaries, or what not, try here for a family gift idea!
The *gasp* was because I got through yesterday as a no-spend day!! w00t!!
The WHAT?!?!? Happened this morning after taking my car in for a routine oil change and asking the body shop to check out the rattle sound currently coming from my front stabilizers, and what I thought was a heat shield that had slipped (which I was completely correct on). I also asked them about perhaps getting two stone chips fixed in the windshield, prior to them turning into cracks, since one has a funny little bubble around it - so I'm thinking crack waiting to happen. What I wasn't quite expecting was the $500 + bill for the complete repair and the oil change. Oh, it was also time for a transmission fluid flush. So, here's the issue - I just this morning switched $500 to my credit card balance to begin knocking it down. I have about $2500 in an emergency fund I can use, but it's with ING, so I'd have to go home, get the card, go to the bank, extract the money, then go to the body shop to pay for the repair, or I simply put it on the credit card - which yes I totally didn't remove from my wallet, just in case of today. I could put it on the card, transfer the ING money out, wait for it to arrive in my chequing account and then put it back n the credit card...which is what I'm going to do....but I was hoping to not have to do it that way. Ah well - at least I have an account for this kind of thing so I'm not totally blowing up.
Incidently, I knew there was a rattle, so I was glad it wasn't something more like the suspension needing replacement, but still....not a nice surprise on the price. Meh. it happens I guess. The car is 5 years old, and I have driven more than 168,000 km with it. (Thank goodness I live super close to work now!!)
So some good things have happened - 1 no spend day so far, Rogers bill arrived yesterday and it was only $165.42 (yep $9.58 less than my budgeted amount!, paid it this morning, and the car will be in top working condition again, even if slightly expensive.
An aside to this post: For all you people looking for a good deal in your area, or perhaps in a city you are visiting...go to www.stealthedeal.com It's a Canadian site that has coupons for items in your area for anywhere from 55-90% off!! Sunday I landed a coupon at a newer automotive repair store $240 worth of service for $40!!! 3 oil changes, 2 brake inspections and a bunch of other things! I've seen deals for hair salons that have been pretty decent, including colour services! I've seen restaurant packages that have been pretty good - why pay full price when you can get a $50 meal for $26? What a way to make your entertainment budget stretch!!! A different deal each 24 hours. You can buy multiples, but you HAVE to give more then the first one away...so if there are birthdays coming up, or anniversaries, or what not, try here for a family gift idea!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
My Plan
Ok - my budget is posted. I'm sure it'll change after Gail meeting but that's what I've got. Your feedback is welcome and appreciated. If there is anything you can see that looks a little expensive, off, or that I'm missing, drop me a message and we'll see what we can do.
Here are a few things that you will need to know about my situation. First I live with my boyfriend. Tenant insurance is something he pays - it's $42.64 a month. Second our apartment building has a no satellite clause, which means as much as I might save some money I can't switch my cable to Bell, and since it was cheaper to bundle internet, cable and phone together from both Rogers and Bell, we went with Rogers. Still seems high - it's because we stopped driving to movie rental places since we can get them on the tv - so the amount I'm included in my budget is also including one movie a month rented from Rogers on the tv. Third, I pay the entire Rogers bill by myself. When we first moved out together, his money was so tight because he was spending mindlessly, and his record of actually paying someone on time that wasn't automatically deducted from his bank account was so atrocious, that I pay it alone to make sure I have the use of cable, internet and tv.
Can anything change form above - yep I think it can.
So - the plan for this repayment is this:
Pay $550 from each and every paycheck.
Pay all bills on time
Take jar money out twice a month - after each paycheck.
Make list of movies in house, and watch one a week at least
Make list of TV episodes on DVD in house and watch one episode a week at least
Use computer to watch other programs you've forgotten about (YouTube has Jem and the Holograms episodes! wow I'm such a geek!!!!)
Make list of all kinds of entertainment you can do for free
Use gym like it's entertainment for your body to help get to the health goal you have
Look at YNAB stuff - it's worked for others, maybe it'll work for me too
Attend Gail meetings twice a month and enjoy the company and conversation about topics relevant to your situation and take the time to catch up with each member and what they've been doing.
Find places and opportunities to make more money to dump onto the debt
Find items on your bucket list that don't cost anything to include on weekends
Leave credit cards and debt cards home - or with Gail members!
This is very general - and seems to center around keeping myself busy with free activities so as not to create financial conflict.
What else can you suggest to help me just get this thing done.
I'll take a reading form my credit card tomorrow and give you an updated total in the sidebar, as well as list the number of payments it will take to get rid of it. I've also got to update my Dream board, an actually post this thing somewhere I can see and access it. I'm finding it was easier to remember my goal when it was prevalent in my visual life.
Ok- next up:; dig up my budget book and change purses so I have one big enough to keep it in. Then it's off to the bank to get my jar money for the next two weeks tomorrow. I know it's a funny day in the month to restart, but it's monday and I HAVE to start. No more procrastinating! I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Your help is very much appreciated!
Here are a few things that you will need to know about my situation. First I live with my boyfriend. Tenant insurance is something he pays - it's $42.64 a month. Second our apartment building has a no satellite clause, which means as much as I might save some money I can't switch my cable to Bell, and since it was cheaper to bundle internet, cable and phone together from both Rogers and Bell, we went with Rogers. Still seems high - it's because we stopped driving to movie rental places since we can get them on the tv - so the amount I'm included in my budget is also including one movie a month rented from Rogers on the tv. Third, I pay the entire Rogers bill by myself. When we first moved out together, his money was so tight because he was spending mindlessly, and his record of actually paying someone on time that wasn't automatically deducted from his bank account was so atrocious, that I pay it alone to make sure I have the use of cable, internet and tv.
Can anything change form above - yep I think it can.
So - the plan for this repayment is this:
Pay $550 from each and every paycheck.
Pay all bills on time
Take jar money out twice a month - after each paycheck.
Make list of movies in house, and watch one a week at least
Make list of TV episodes on DVD in house and watch one episode a week at least
Use computer to watch other programs you've forgotten about (YouTube has Jem and the Holograms episodes! wow I'm such a geek!!!!)
Make list of all kinds of entertainment you can do for free
Use gym like it's entertainment for your body to help get to the health goal you have
Look at YNAB stuff - it's worked for others, maybe it'll work for me too
Attend Gail meetings twice a month and enjoy the company and conversation about topics relevant to your situation and take the time to catch up with each member and what they've been doing.
Find places and opportunities to make more money to dump onto the debt
Find items on your bucket list that don't cost anything to include on weekends
Leave credit cards and debt cards home - or with Gail members!
This is very general - and seems to center around keeping myself busy with free activities so as not to create financial conflict.
What else can you suggest to help me just get this thing done.
I'll take a reading form my credit card tomorrow and give you an updated total in the sidebar, as well as list the number of payments it will take to get rid of it. I've also got to update my Dream board, an actually post this thing somewhere I can see and access it. I'm finding it was easier to remember my goal when it was prevalent in my visual life.
Ok- next up:; dig up my budget book and change purses so I have one big enough to keep it in. Then it's off to the bank to get my jar money for the next two weeks tomorrow. I know it's a funny day in the month to restart, but it's monday and I HAVE to start. No more procrastinating! I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Your help is very much appreciated!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Overhaulin'
Oh boy It's been a little while since I've posted!!
So a quick recap of what's been happening...
A wedding, some time spent with friends, work got hectic, attended the Gail picnic, have had long discussions with my man about all kinds of things and have been slowly cleaning up the financial mess I've made.
This weekend I'm taking some time to clean. Sounds boring right? Probably, but it's time to get some clutter dealt with. Not only does the clutter need to be cleaned up but I need a new plan. For everything. For my finances, for my health, for my sanity.
First I'm angry at myself that I've fallen off the wagon and taken a passive stance on many things in my life. Second, I'm frustrated with my ability to allow my circumstances, and the influences in and on my life to provide the mental white noise that has helped me to derail myself. Third, I'm working on dealing with my own feelings and emotions tied to certain things in my life...like why do I enjoy carrying around $26,000 of consumer debt? I've gotten to the fact that I don't, that I'm human and that although i don't want the debt, sometimes the work it takes to get debt free is hard, and overwhelming and it boils down to me not, on a subconscious level, wanting to do the work. It's fear based. My mother, and grandparents are debt free and have been for quite some time now. My father with never be debt free, but he embraces that. My sister and I have each buggered up financially in our young lives but are working to correct those problems.
I have great role modles in my life, I just have to take the time to really look at them. My friends are not afraid to say that money is tight so they'll have to decline the event. I attend a Gail group that has now seen it's first members reach the debt freedom state and make a plan to stay there. My man, whom for the longest time bucked the system, even sat down and talked to me about setting up jars, a budget and getting goign with it. I even caught him watching an episode of 'Til Debt Do Us Part!!
(Gail, I guess that hug really was magic!)
My point with all this is this...by the end of the weekend I'll have a new budget posted here. I"ll have a plan posted here about how to get rid of my budget. I'll have a planner to carry with me, and my jars reset and working. this weekend is going to take some work. It's going to take some planning, and it's going to take lots and lots of discipline.
The next Gail meeting is set for the first Tuesday in August. I've already told my fellow members that as part of what we do there, I'm ready and willing to have an open book when it comes to my finances. I"ll be checking in with them by providing statements, budget binder, cards whatever we come up with to help keep me on track to completing my quest for debt freedom. I've been working on this for 4 years, and looking back I've done a really good job of spinning my wheels (making really good progress, then derailing myself). I've over this. I'm done with it, so it's time to actually be done with it.
I'll also be setting time aside to use this forum to really get through the gritty stuff, express myself and work through some things that crop up along the way - called life.
Some things I'll have to plan for - two weddings in September, my sisters shower and bachelorette party, and her wedding, Christmas, and then one birthday a month until April. Lots of little things but I know I have the tools to do this...and I know that I've been able to do this before...so it's time to et my head right.
Sounds like a lot of blah blah blah reading this. So, I'll be back shortly with the plan posted and a calendar ready to go.
So a quick recap of what's been happening...
A wedding, some time spent with friends, work got hectic, attended the Gail picnic, have had long discussions with my man about all kinds of things and have been slowly cleaning up the financial mess I've made.
This weekend I'm taking some time to clean. Sounds boring right? Probably, but it's time to get some clutter dealt with. Not only does the clutter need to be cleaned up but I need a new plan. For everything. For my finances, for my health, for my sanity.
First I'm angry at myself that I've fallen off the wagon and taken a passive stance on many things in my life. Second, I'm frustrated with my ability to allow my circumstances, and the influences in and on my life to provide the mental white noise that has helped me to derail myself. Third, I'm working on dealing with my own feelings and emotions tied to certain things in my life...like why do I enjoy carrying around $26,000 of consumer debt? I've gotten to the fact that I don't, that I'm human and that although i don't want the debt, sometimes the work it takes to get debt free is hard, and overwhelming and it boils down to me not, on a subconscious level, wanting to do the work. It's fear based. My mother, and grandparents are debt free and have been for quite some time now. My father with never be debt free, but he embraces that. My sister and I have each buggered up financially in our young lives but are working to correct those problems.
I have great role modles in my life, I just have to take the time to really look at them. My friends are not afraid to say that money is tight so they'll have to decline the event. I attend a Gail group that has now seen it's first members reach the debt freedom state and make a plan to stay there. My man, whom for the longest time bucked the system, even sat down and talked to me about setting up jars, a budget and getting goign with it. I even caught him watching an episode of 'Til Debt Do Us Part!!
(Gail, I guess that hug really was magic!)
My point with all this is this...by the end of the weekend I'll have a new budget posted here. I"ll have a plan posted here about how to get rid of my budget. I'll have a planner to carry with me, and my jars reset and working. this weekend is going to take some work. It's going to take some planning, and it's going to take lots and lots of discipline.
The next Gail meeting is set for the first Tuesday in August. I've already told my fellow members that as part of what we do there, I'm ready and willing to have an open book when it comes to my finances. I"ll be checking in with them by providing statements, budget binder, cards whatever we come up with to help keep me on track to completing my quest for debt freedom. I've been working on this for 4 years, and looking back I've done a really good job of spinning my wheels (making really good progress, then derailing myself). I've over this. I'm done with it, so it's time to actually be done with it.
I'll also be setting time aside to use this forum to really get through the gritty stuff, express myself and work through some things that crop up along the way - called life.
Some things I'll have to plan for - two weddings in September, my sisters shower and bachelorette party, and her wedding, Christmas, and then one birthday a month until April. Lots of little things but I know I have the tools to do this...and I know that I've been able to do this before...so it's time to et my head right.
Sounds like a lot of blah blah blah reading this. So, I'll be back shortly with the plan posted and a calendar ready to go.
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