Just to recap April, since it's the last day of the fourth month of the year, I'd like to say YAY!
This month brought some interesting things:
1) Grandfather's health - still waiting on more tests
2) New baby in the group - she's just so cute!!
3) I became a Hot Shot at curling - not bad for the new kid to the club. I took down skips from higher divisions than the one I curl in and had a blast. Was able to convert my win into a $25 Gift Certificate to Boston Pizza, and as the regular season champ in our division, I received a $30 Gift Card to Homesense. With the Homesense card I got a table for my balcony so I can enjoy reading and bevvies on the balcony in the summer!
4) Using a $50 Gift Card for Home Depot form Christmas, I was able to get the planters and items I need for my balcony garden. It's time to start growing veggies people - pricing keep rising!
5) I met up with some friends and reminded me that it's time I pay more attention to my time spent with them and less on the moping around thing I've been doing
6) Tax Return came back with $1,000 and went directly to my debt.
7) An unexpected windfall of money from an old employer came in. I'm waiting to be told by my financial institution that the money has been transferred to my Locked In RRSP. Technically this money was from a pension I don't even remember paying into, so I have to lock the RRSP until retirement...then I get the money plus interest. This brings me to an interesting point...now I have two RRSP's!
8) Shopping for my birthday today with my mom and sister will be a lovely afternoon - I hope. I'll be spending the night at home to go through some more stuff with my grandfather on Sunday. Seems there some tricky things I forgot about that I still need to ask him.
9) Changed account types to save a few more dollars each month.
10) Drove enough at work to make over $500 in mileage!
For Friendship month, April has been fantastic. On a financial perspective, claiming my money has been great! I can truly say that when you concentrate your energy on finding ways to increase the amount coming into your life to pay a debt down or increase a savings goal faster, you'd be surprised how the money just starts appearing. Not to mention that when you are ready to receive what is coming your way, bountiful returns you receive!!
I'll be spending some time with my calendar to see what is in store for May. Keep marching along everyone!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head!
It's a double entendre!
It's been pouring all week. The grass looks great, the vegetables are getting what they need and the flowers will soon be blooming!
Oh, and the money keeps appearing in my account!
Ha! My Tax Return is in...and onto the debt it goes! A little over $1,000 moved to my debt and I'm glad it's Friday!
Payday coming up, I can square away another payment to my debt. The next paycheck will include my mileage from April, as well as my medical stuff, so I'll have a bunch more dollars for the debt monster!
At the end of May, I should be looking at a greatly reduced debt monster - at about $15,700 or there abouts. By the end of June I'll be half way done this thing and I'll be looking at a decimating that number over the last 6 months of the year. Spring and Summer are usually our busy time at work. With lots of potential new clients arriving, I'll be doing a decent amount of traveling for the forseeable future, and adding to the mileage reimbursement as I go.
I'm getting down right giddy over what the drop in the debt.
I mean really, how can you not when it's dropping by about $2,000 per month AFTER interest!!
On my horizon:
Tonight - drinks with the ladies from curling. We'll be discussing next year and goals
Tomorrow - shopping with Mom
Sunday - finances with Poppa
Weekend following - drinks with friends at an old haunt
Shopping with Mom should be fun - it's my birthday present from her (time together and some new clothes!)
Enjoy your weekend all!
I'm walking on Sunshine!!
It's been pouring all week. The grass looks great, the vegetables are getting what they need and the flowers will soon be blooming!
Oh, and the money keeps appearing in my account!
Ha! My Tax Return is in...and onto the debt it goes! A little over $1,000 moved to my debt and I'm glad it's Friday!
Payday coming up, I can square away another payment to my debt. The next paycheck will include my mileage from April, as well as my medical stuff, so I'll have a bunch more dollars for the debt monster!
At the end of May, I should be looking at a greatly reduced debt monster - at about $15,700 or there abouts. By the end of June I'll be half way done this thing and I'll be looking at a decimating that number over the last 6 months of the year. Spring and Summer are usually our busy time at work. With lots of potential new clients arriving, I'll be doing a decent amount of traveling for the forseeable future, and adding to the mileage reimbursement as I go.
I'm getting down right giddy over what the drop in the debt.
I mean really, how can you not when it's dropping by about $2,000 per month AFTER interest!!
On my horizon:
Tonight - drinks with the ladies from curling. We'll be discussing next year and goals
Tomorrow - shopping with Mom
Sunday - finances with Poppa
Weekend following - drinks with friends at an old haunt
Shopping with Mom should be fun - it's my birthday present from her (time together and some new clothes!)
Enjoy your weekend all!
I'm walking on Sunshine!!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
MONEY Raining Down from the Heavens!
A little while ago my mom contacted me about some mail from a previous employer marked Pension Department. I thought it was a little strange but I had her forward the mail to my new address.
It took nearly 3 months to arrive. Apparently it was originally sent with insufficient postage. The postal department "kindly" forwarded the mail to me and it arrived in my mail box on Tuesday. "Kind" gestures are nice - when they take this long to get here, it's almost better that it gets returned and remailed.
I digress.
This mail was indeed from the Pension Department of my previous employer. I worked for the company for 13.5 consecutive years - leaving the summer of 2008. Due to the fact that the company was unionized, I have a pension from them. I had no idea!! Based on the time I worked for them, and having transferred to a higher classified store, I have $807.07 in pension money from the company. The paperwork that came was to ask how I would like to handle this money.
I have three choices:
1) Begin collecting the money in May of 2044, at $24.58 per month for 10 years. (This amount is based on that calculated now, and will not grow over time.)
2) Take a cash pay out and have appropriate taxes removed from the total owing.
3) Transfer this amount to my RRSP and keep all of it.
Let's see - if I take option one, I have to remember to write to the office each time I change my address, and name a beneficiary that has to do the same until they or I can claim the money. Option number 2 means I lose about $200 from the total, leaving me with the cash amount of $600. A nice amount that I can apply to my debt, but $200 less than what is owing me. Option number 3 means I transfer $807 to my RRSP and it begins to grow from the minute it hits my RRSP until I need to withdraw the money in 2044. That means my $807 has a major growth potential!
This is definitely a no-brainer. I am choosing option number 3. While I could use the extra $600 to put towards my debt, I didn't know that I had the money there, it going to my RRSP to be saved and grow for my retirement is the original intent of the money so I'm happy to leave it there!
The way i see it - an extra $800 towards my RRSP this year, will help at tax time next year, when I'm debt free. It can go a long way to increasing my return, and allow me to pad that account a little more.
I'll just have to keep plugging away at my debt and get to debt free using the hard work I'm putting in and determination to get out of debt.
Still, it's a nice day when money rains from the heavens and arrives in my mail box. I talked a while ago about being positive, and beginning to find ways to increase the money I put on my debt. Now it's arriving in the mailbox, coming out of the woodwork!
Stay positive everyone, and don't forget to Ask for what you want, and be Open to Receiving it!
It took nearly 3 months to arrive. Apparently it was originally sent with insufficient postage. The postal department "kindly" forwarded the mail to me and it arrived in my mail box on Tuesday. "Kind" gestures are nice - when they take this long to get here, it's almost better that it gets returned and remailed.
I digress.
This mail was indeed from the Pension Department of my previous employer. I worked for the company for 13.5 consecutive years - leaving the summer of 2008. Due to the fact that the company was unionized, I have a pension from them. I had no idea!! Based on the time I worked for them, and having transferred to a higher classified store, I have $807.07 in pension money from the company. The paperwork that came was to ask how I would like to handle this money.
I have three choices:
1) Begin collecting the money in May of 2044, at $24.58 per month for 10 years. (This amount is based on that calculated now, and will not grow over time.)
2) Take a cash pay out and have appropriate taxes removed from the total owing.
3) Transfer this amount to my RRSP and keep all of it.
Let's see - if I take option one, I have to remember to write to the office each time I change my address, and name a beneficiary that has to do the same until they or I can claim the money. Option number 2 means I lose about $200 from the total, leaving me with the cash amount of $600. A nice amount that I can apply to my debt, but $200 less than what is owing me. Option number 3 means I transfer $807 to my RRSP and it begins to grow from the minute it hits my RRSP until I need to withdraw the money in 2044. That means my $807 has a major growth potential!
This is definitely a no-brainer. I am choosing option number 3. While I could use the extra $600 to put towards my debt, I didn't know that I had the money there, it going to my RRSP to be saved and grow for my retirement is the original intent of the money so I'm happy to leave it there!
The way i see it - an extra $800 towards my RRSP this year, will help at tax time next year, when I'm debt free. It can go a long way to increasing my return, and allow me to pad that account a little more.
I'll just have to keep plugging away at my debt and get to debt free using the hard work I'm putting in and determination to get out of debt.
Still, it's a nice day when money rains from the heavens and arrives in my mail box. I talked a while ago about being positive, and beginning to find ways to increase the money I put on my debt. Now it's arriving in the mailbox, coming out of the woodwork!
Stay positive everyone, and don't forget to Ask for what you want, and be Open to Receiving it!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Small Victories Keep You Going
At the beginning of April I changed my account from the TD Infinity Account at $12.95 to the TD Value Plus Account for $8.95. I get 25 free transactions in my account with this switch instead of hte unlimited transactions I had on the other account type. I keep $4 of my money by doing this.
Notice I didn't say save? Yep that's because I may not "save" it as it were. The $4 extra dollars doesn't sound like much but every dollar counts when you are marching to debt free.
So far I've used 18 of my acceptable transactions. That means with month end coming I'll have another 2, and possibly one unexpected gas fillup since I've driven like 1,000 km for work. The money will go back the first paycheck in May when my mileage money comes in so I'm not worried.
Unlike the other months this year, I have not exceeded the 25 transaction limit this month. I've been working hard at getting my spending under control. As the fourth month on my budget I feel that this is the first month I'm firing on all cylinders. I have slightly overspent in my other category this month, but nothing compared tot he last three months. In total I have 4 extra transactions this month. By extra I mean, not the planned amounts that are moving or the deposit of my paycheck. Four is way better than 14!!
I'm having small victories with everything. I haven't sacrificed my debt repayment amount once yet. I have sacrificed the buffer in my account. This isn't helping much, however I've got just about under control now, so that means May can only be better. Each month I've been getting more efficient with my finances, and been able to curb that mental conversation about whether or not I should get something, or I need something or maaaybe I can squeeze this out this month and be ok. With May coming up and it being month 5, I'm down to 4 extra transactions from 14. I think it's almost there. And I'm seriously excited for May and June - may to get the last of the gremlin's done (seriously, don't water those things!) and June because it's 3 paycheck month!
We all know what three paycheck month means... A SERIOUS DENT IN THE DEBT!!!!!!
Let me tell you, with this stuff with my grandfather, I'm more eager than ever to get out from under this debt. I want to be able to know I did it before he went anywhere. Then I can concentrate on finishing school and having that done before he passes, and maybe, if I'm a good girl, a small wedding done before then too.
I'm really excited about getting closer to that half way point.
Today I officially owe $17,950.00.
And my tax return should be in soon too! (Its taking its sweet time getting here!!)
Notice I didn't say save? Yep that's because I may not "save" it as it were. The $4 extra dollars doesn't sound like much but every dollar counts when you are marching to debt free.
So far I've used 18 of my acceptable transactions. That means with month end coming I'll have another 2, and possibly one unexpected gas fillup since I've driven like 1,000 km for work. The money will go back the first paycheck in May when my mileage money comes in so I'm not worried.
Unlike the other months this year, I have not exceeded the 25 transaction limit this month. I've been working hard at getting my spending under control. As the fourth month on my budget I feel that this is the first month I'm firing on all cylinders. I have slightly overspent in my other category this month, but nothing compared tot he last three months. In total I have 4 extra transactions this month. By extra I mean, not the planned amounts that are moving or the deposit of my paycheck. Four is way better than 14!!
I'm having small victories with everything. I haven't sacrificed my debt repayment amount once yet. I have sacrificed the buffer in my account. This isn't helping much, however I've got just about under control now, so that means May can only be better. Each month I've been getting more efficient with my finances, and been able to curb that mental conversation about whether or not I should get something, or I need something or maaaybe I can squeeze this out this month and be ok. With May coming up and it being month 5, I'm down to 4 extra transactions from 14. I think it's almost there. And I'm seriously excited for May and June - may to get the last of the gremlin's done (seriously, don't water those things!) and June because it's 3 paycheck month!
We all know what three paycheck month means... A SERIOUS DENT IN THE DEBT!!!!!!
Let me tell you, with this stuff with my grandfather, I'm more eager than ever to get out from under this debt. I want to be able to know I did it before he went anywhere. Then I can concentrate on finishing school and having that done before he passes, and maybe, if I'm a good girl, a small wedding done before then too.
I'm really excited about getting closer to that half way point.
Today I officially owe $17,950.00.
And my tax return should be in soon too! (Its taking its sweet time getting here!!)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Week Six: Gluttony
Oh my guilty pleasures....
1. SWEETS - may include candy, cookies, pies, cakes, tarts, italien pastries, french pastries, sticky buns or anything that has sugar that isn't from a fruit. Guilty because these are the exact items I need to not be around to get more healthy and slim down.
2. BATHS - I love these! At least once a week I dump in some bubbles, and make the water super warm and take my chosen book for the week/month and read until the water gets room temperature. I love them because it's relaxing, it's me time and le man tends to get a little romantic. Who doesn't like a nice glass of wine delivered, or someone to loofah your back for 10 minutes, or dinner to get made while you are lounging, or the living room vacuumed?
3. SHOES - I'm a girl! And no mater what size I get my shoe size doesn't change!! I can have all kinds of fun with my toes and not worry about whether I'm up 5 pounds or down 25!! I have way too many pairs right now...but that's ok! One day soon a Jimmy Choo will be added to the collection, and a real Louboutin!
4. ABS AND ARMS - hey! It's a guilty pleasure!! And when le man can impress you by doing a handstand pushup - drool your hearts out ladies - why the heck not?! Though I'm not exclusive with those - I also heart Ryan Reynolds, Jason Statham, Josh Duhamel, and some other actors - that's hwy they make movies right?!
5. SLEEPING/LOUNGING IN BED! - I love love love a lazy weekend! And I love sleep. What can I say - I get 8.5 a night and sometimes it's just not enough...but I think it's more that I'm comfy and don't want to move.
6. THE CHRISTIAN CHANNEL - this is really a guilty pleasure. I like Beth (can't remember her last name) Joel Osteen, Seventh Heaven, etc. I learn the most enlightening, eye opening things, and sometimes it's just nice to listen to someone motivate you to be, do, act better in life.
7. RERUNS OF MY FAVOURITE SHOWS - OR THE SEASONS ON DVD! - When there isn't anything on TV that I want to watch I simply pop in a disk from one of my favs and chill out to a few episodes. NCIS, Numb3rs, The Big Bang Theory, just to name a few. Seriously though, at times I think it's an addiction of some kind!!
Bonus - FOOD! I love it! I love to try new things, learn new cooking techniques, find new spice combos...read about what you've found, restaurant reviews and all kinds of tasty things. I'ma try glutton I guess!!
Most of all I'm a glutton for time with my family. I still have two homes - theirs and mine. I still say I'm going home when I go to see them. I crave this time nowadays. More than anything because I want to squeeze every last moment out of them in their current dynamic because soon it will change. I'm a glutton for this time with them because now more than ever I need to feel the family as they are before it becomes how they were. Now more than ever I've had thoughts of leaving work to just be at home with them. Not doing anything more than going about a typical day of grocery shopping and gardening, laundry and dishes, bickering and discussing.
Now more than ever I just want to be immersed in them so that when life and death become real I can remember fondly and have no regrets.
Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.
1. SWEETS - may include candy, cookies, pies, cakes, tarts, italien pastries, french pastries, sticky buns or anything that has sugar that isn't from a fruit. Guilty because these are the exact items I need to not be around to get more healthy and slim down.
2. BATHS - I love these! At least once a week I dump in some bubbles, and make the water super warm and take my chosen book for the week/month and read until the water gets room temperature. I love them because it's relaxing, it's me time and le man tends to get a little romantic. Who doesn't like a nice glass of wine delivered, or someone to loofah your back for 10 minutes, or dinner to get made while you are lounging, or the living room vacuumed?
3. SHOES - I'm a girl! And no mater what size I get my shoe size doesn't change!! I can have all kinds of fun with my toes and not worry about whether I'm up 5 pounds or down 25!! I have way too many pairs right now...but that's ok! One day soon a Jimmy Choo will be added to the collection, and a real Louboutin!
4. ABS AND ARMS - hey! It's a guilty pleasure!! And when le man can impress you by doing a handstand pushup - drool your hearts out ladies - why the heck not?! Though I'm not exclusive with those - I also heart Ryan Reynolds, Jason Statham, Josh Duhamel, and some other actors - that's hwy they make movies right?!
5. SLEEPING/LOUNGING IN BED! - I love love love a lazy weekend! And I love sleep. What can I say - I get 8.5 a night and sometimes it's just not enough...but I think it's more that I'm comfy and don't want to move.
6. THE CHRISTIAN CHANNEL - this is really a guilty pleasure. I like Beth (can't remember her last name) Joel Osteen, Seventh Heaven, etc. I learn the most enlightening, eye opening things, and sometimes it's just nice to listen to someone motivate you to be, do, act better in life.
7. RERUNS OF MY FAVOURITE SHOWS - OR THE SEASONS ON DVD! - When there isn't anything on TV that I want to watch I simply pop in a disk from one of my favs and chill out to a few episodes. NCIS, Numb3rs, The Big Bang Theory, just to name a few. Seriously though, at times I think it's an addiction of some kind!!
Bonus - FOOD! I love it! I love to try new things, learn new cooking techniques, find new spice combos...read about what you've found, restaurant reviews and all kinds of tasty things. I'ma try glutton I guess!!
Most of all I'm a glutton for time with my family. I still have two homes - theirs and mine. I still say I'm going home when I go to see them. I crave this time nowadays. More than anything because I want to squeeze every last moment out of them in their current dynamic because soon it will change. I'm a glutton for this time with them because now more than ever I need to feel the family as they are before it becomes how they were. Now more than ever I've had thoughts of leaving work to just be at home with them. Not doing anything more than going about a typical day of grocery shopping and gardening, laundry and dishes, bickering and discussing.
Now more than ever I just want to be immersed in them so that when life and death become real I can remember fondly and have no regrets.
Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.
Monday, April 25, 2011
When Personal Finance becomes Life Saving
I posted a little while ago about my grandfather. This past weekend I spent some time at home with my family. The day was nice, my sister and her husband came home - it was a little strained but the visit went as well as can be expected. At the end of the day I made a comment about being tired but wanting to spend the coming weekend with my grandfather learning how he chooses his stocks, and what to pay attention to so I can make good decisions for my grandmother when he's gone.
We haven't had definite news from the specialists yet, but he (my grandfather) is adamant about having the cancer removed to give him 4 more years. He feels there are still things he needs to bare witness to before he goes, and four years should do it.
In these next four years, I'm scheduled to graduate from University, get married and hopefully have a baby. I secretly think he's hanging on so he can be there for these events. I really want him to be there for these things too - he is the father figure in my life, and the person I've always turned to when I've had trouble, needed direction or needed something to compare things with. My mom and my grandmother have always weighed in on these thins too, but it's been ultimately, his approval or disapproval that has governed my sense of accomplishment.
So when my grandmother said to talk to him at 11 o'clock Saturday night, about the stocks and his RIF and stuff, I knew she was afraid he won't be here much longer, or be in any mood when the doctors tell him that the state of his life will be degraded after this next potential surgery, that he'll have lost the slim hold he has on the fight to beat this round of cancer.
So, at 11 o'clock I headed upstairs, notebook, pen, and charts in hand to talk to him about his RIF and the stocks he holds in it. And he, was so relieved that I was approaching him about it that for a few minutes it was difficult to speak. We started, it took about half an hour to go through things. I struggled because I know that each day we do these things is one more day we don't have for other things. It makes me sad that he won't be here much longer. It makes me angry that the previous two operations haven't gotten all the cancer out. And truthfully, I'm a little selfish wanting to be around for another 5-10 years, because I just can't see life without him.
When I talked to my mom this morning she told me he was the happiest they've seen him in months, and was up until 4am riding on that happiness. It was a great weight lifted from his mind to allow him to concentrate on other things.
For the next however long it takes, I'll be learning, and studying and trying to extract as much knowledge from him as I can so I feel comfortable to carry on with this without him. It's something my grandmother knows nothing about, and something my mom finds too complex to wrap her own head around - she has an advisor. He worries that her advisor may be taking advantage of her, and knows that if he an teach me when he knows and get me used to it, I'll be able to talk care of them both for him.
And so, while I march to debt free, I will also be learning how to handle not only my own finances but those of my mom and grandmother. It's something I've worried about for them, for some time, and now I know it's something that he has worried about for some time. And between you and me, my sister is a bit of a dunce with this stuff. So, alas, it is left to me.
We learn crafts from my grandmother, like knitting and smocking. We learn how to budget and save from my grandmother, but we learn the finesse of the stock market, the ability to solve problems, that our accomplishments are a result of drive and hard work, and humbleness from my grandfather.
This begins my journey to learning about RIF's and stocks, long before I need them, but just in time to make sure my family is well taken care of from this day forward.
We haven't had definite news from the specialists yet, but he (my grandfather) is adamant about having the cancer removed to give him 4 more years. He feels there are still things he needs to bare witness to before he goes, and four years should do it.
In these next four years, I'm scheduled to graduate from University, get married and hopefully have a baby. I secretly think he's hanging on so he can be there for these events. I really want him to be there for these things too - he is the father figure in my life, and the person I've always turned to when I've had trouble, needed direction or needed something to compare things with. My mom and my grandmother have always weighed in on these thins too, but it's been ultimately, his approval or disapproval that has governed my sense of accomplishment.
So when my grandmother said to talk to him at 11 o'clock Saturday night, about the stocks and his RIF and stuff, I knew she was afraid he won't be here much longer, or be in any mood when the doctors tell him that the state of his life will be degraded after this next potential surgery, that he'll have lost the slim hold he has on the fight to beat this round of cancer.
So, at 11 o'clock I headed upstairs, notebook, pen, and charts in hand to talk to him about his RIF and the stocks he holds in it. And he, was so relieved that I was approaching him about it that for a few minutes it was difficult to speak. We started, it took about half an hour to go through things. I struggled because I know that each day we do these things is one more day we don't have for other things. It makes me sad that he won't be here much longer. It makes me angry that the previous two operations haven't gotten all the cancer out. And truthfully, I'm a little selfish wanting to be around for another 5-10 years, because I just can't see life without him.
When I talked to my mom this morning she told me he was the happiest they've seen him in months, and was up until 4am riding on that happiness. It was a great weight lifted from his mind to allow him to concentrate on other things.
For the next however long it takes, I'll be learning, and studying and trying to extract as much knowledge from him as I can so I feel comfortable to carry on with this without him. It's something my grandmother knows nothing about, and something my mom finds too complex to wrap her own head around - she has an advisor. He worries that her advisor may be taking advantage of her, and knows that if he an teach me when he knows and get me used to it, I'll be able to talk care of them both for him.
And so, while I march to debt free, I will also be learning how to handle not only my own finances but those of my mom and grandmother. It's something I've worried about for them, for some time, and now I know it's something that he has worried about for some time. And between you and me, my sister is a bit of a dunce with this stuff. So, alas, it is left to me.
We learn crafts from my grandmother, like knitting and smocking. We learn how to budget and save from my grandmother, but we learn the finesse of the stock market, the ability to solve problems, that our accomplishments are a result of drive and hard work, and humbleness from my grandfather.
This begins my journey to learning about RIF's and stocks, long before I need them, but just in time to make sure my family is well taken care of from this day forward.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Happy Easter
Since it's Easter Holiday starting today, I'd like to take the time to wish everyone warm times with your family.
It's a short post today.
Just want to remind you all that this a great time to spend with family and friends. If you find yourself alone this weekend, take the time to do some things just for you. Read a book. Reflect on life. Find the small wonders in each day.
Have a great weekend all!
It's a short post today.
Just want to remind you all that this a great time to spend with family and friends. If you find yourself alone this weekend, take the time to do some things just for you. Read a book. Reflect on life. Find the small wonders in each day.
Have a great weekend all!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Issuing a Challenge
Alright everyone! I've issued a small challenge to SS4BC about getting out of debt. Her post on getting debt fatigue, a year and 4 months from her debt free date is something I struggled with last year. It's something a lot of you struggle with.
The Fabulous FB @ Fabulously Broke in the City wrote a great post on dealing with debt fatigue and so did my good friend Canadian Savings.
So for all of you that need a boost, and have been suffering from the "I'll never be out of debt" feeling, here it is. It's time to get off that toosh, pickup your papers, a pen, and a fresh set of work sheets and start figuring some things out.
I'm issuing a challenge. I've challenged myself to get out from under this debt this year. Yep that's $23,820.74 + interest in one year. So now it's your turn. In the next 8 months, take a look at what you've planned to put towards your debt. Now figure out what 1/4 of that number is. Add it to the planned amount to your debt and voila! You have the number I'm challenging you to put towards your debt THIS YEAR!
Change your thinking process and you'll start finding things change for you. For example: I looked at what I had planned to move towards debt each month. (It's $1,600) I figured out that if I do that I'll be out of debt sometime around April 2012. That was far far away. I decided nope! It's gonna get done this year. That means I had to come up with about $4,000 more money this year. Where the heck am I going to get that?!?!?!?
1) I get paid mileage from work and drive about 220km per month. That's an additional $114.40 per month. Multiply that by 12 months and you get $1,372.80. That leaves $2,627.20 to find.
2) I get reimbursed for my medical stuff up to a certain amount. I budget $125 per month for my medical requirements. I get back what I spend, less taxes...that means I have another $1,300 I can toss onto my debt. This means I'm still looking for $1,327.20.
3) My taxes see me getting a return (I hope). If it comes through that I did everything correctly, I'm looking at a potential return of $1,000 that will go directly towards my debt. That means I could have $327.20 left to find before year end.
4) We are afforded a Christmas bonus each year. In the 13 years our company has been in business it has given it's employees a Christmas bonus (otherwise known as profit sharing) each year. Going by my bonus last year, that's $700. That means I've found more than what I planned on for the year!
5) I do odd jobs, like babysitting, housecleaning, selling some items etc. I do not know how much each job will yield me at the time, but any money I gain above my regular paycheck goes directly towards my debt.
6) Gas prices are going way up. I'm planning to bike to work when the weather is more stable. That will save a bunch in my transportation fund, and mean I can move that money to my debt too. I'm trying to be debt free before the end of the year, so each dollar I can find, free up or transfer to debt gets me that much closer to my goal. Not gonna lie - I want to be debt-free for Christmas this year. What better Christmas gift could I give myself??
So - all you Personal Finance blogger/readers. If you aren't out of debt, let's see what you can do in the remainder of this year to increase what you've planned on putting towards that debt! Let's blow each others minds with the collective power of finding more money! Let's see how close we can each get to our goal in the remainder of this year. It's hard work. You have to hang in with me for 8 months.
You also have to reward yourself for your hard work. I'm heading to Cirque de Soleil in June (six months into my journey). I have a gathering with friends the first weekend in May that will reward my first quarter hard work. I have another gathering with friends in August that will reward my second and third quarter hard work. And of course in December I'll be ringing in the new year without debt! How cool is that!!
Get your rewards lined up! Think hard about what they can be, and get them set up! This is going to be such a banner year for us all! I can just feel it. So jump on board, let me know what you've come up with and I'll check back with you in a month or so to see what you've found so far!! Obviously the biggest key to this whole thing is shifting your thinking about your debt. If you stop thinking about
D E B T and start thinking of how am I going to acquire more money - you'll start noticing that it will start appearing in your life. You want to be out of D E B T - but that's a negative word. Instead you really want to acquire more money. Mo' Money Mo' Money, Mo' Money!
Some of you snowflake, some of you squirrel, some of you fret and get down on yourselves. it's time to get cracking. Envision gaining more money and then go about your day like you would, not giving it a second thought. Repeat the thought each day and pretty soon you'll start seeing dimes on the ground, mysterious checks will appear in the mail from things you forgot. You'll return something you didn't need and transfer the money to your debt instead. A friend will call asking you to do something for them and offering to pay you a bit. Your CD's that haven't been listened to will be downloaded onto your computer and a store near you will buy them back. You'll start finding things in your house that you can give as gifts, and not have to use the money in your Clothing and Gifts column and move it to debt. You'll learn that there is a stagnant bank account with your name on it and you'll get the money back from the bank! You'll get a raise! Who knows!
It's only 8 months! 8 of them. Let's see what we can do in 8 months.
The Fabulous FB @ Fabulously Broke in the City wrote a great post on dealing with debt fatigue and so did my good friend Canadian Savings.
So for all of you that need a boost, and have been suffering from the "I'll never be out of debt" feeling, here it is. It's time to get off that toosh, pickup your papers, a pen, and a fresh set of work sheets and start figuring some things out.
I'm issuing a challenge. I've challenged myself to get out from under this debt this year. Yep that's $23,820.74 + interest in one year. So now it's your turn. In the next 8 months, take a look at what you've planned to put towards your debt. Now figure out what 1/4 of that number is. Add it to the planned amount to your debt and voila! You have the number I'm challenging you to put towards your debt THIS YEAR!
Change your thinking process and you'll start finding things change for you. For example: I looked at what I had planned to move towards debt each month. (It's $1,600) I figured out that if I do that I'll be out of debt sometime around April 2012. That was far far away. I decided nope! It's gonna get done this year. That means I had to come up with about $4,000 more money this year. Where the heck am I going to get that?!?!?!?
1) I get paid mileage from work and drive about 220km per month. That's an additional $114.40 per month. Multiply that by 12 months and you get $1,372.80. That leaves $2,627.20 to find.
2) I get reimbursed for my medical stuff up to a certain amount. I budget $125 per month for my medical requirements. I get back what I spend, less taxes...that means I have another $1,300 I can toss onto my debt. This means I'm still looking for $1,327.20.
3) My taxes see me getting a return (I hope). If it comes through that I did everything correctly, I'm looking at a potential return of $1,000 that will go directly towards my debt. That means I could have $327.20 left to find before year end.
4) We are afforded a Christmas bonus each year. In the 13 years our company has been in business it has given it's employees a Christmas bonus (otherwise known as profit sharing) each year. Going by my bonus last year, that's $700. That means I've found more than what I planned on for the year!
5) I do odd jobs, like babysitting, housecleaning, selling some items etc. I do not know how much each job will yield me at the time, but any money I gain above my regular paycheck goes directly towards my debt.
6) Gas prices are going way up. I'm planning to bike to work when the weather is more stable. That will save a bunch in my transportation fund, and mean I can move that money to my debt too. I'm trying to be debt free before the end of the year, so each dollar I can find, free up or transfer to debt gets me that much closer to my goal. Not gonna lie - I want to be debt-free for Christmas this year. What better Christmas gift could I give myself??
So - all you Personal Finance blogger/readers. If you aren't out of debt, let's see what you can do in the remainder of this year to increase what you've planned on putting towards that debt! Let's blow each others minds with the collective power of finding more money! Let's see how close we can each get to our goal in the remainder of this year. It's hard work. You have to hang in with me for 8 months.
You also have to reward yourself for your hard work. I'm heading to Cirque de Soleil in June (six months into my journey). I have a gathering with friends the first weekend in May that will reward my first quarter hard work. I have another gathering with friends in August that will reward my second and third quarter hard work. And of course in December I'll be ringing in the new year without debt! How cool is that!!
Get your rewards lined up! Think hard about what they can be, and get them set up! This is going to be such a banner year for us all! I can just feel it. So jump on board, let me know what you've come up with and I'll check back with you in a month or so to see what you've found so far!! Obviously the biggest key to this whole thing is shifting your thinking about your debt. If you stop thinking about
D E B T and start thinking of how am I going to acquire more money - you'll start noticing that it will start appearing in your life. You want to be out of D E B T - but that's a negative word. Instead you really want to acquire more money. Mo' Money Mo' Money, Mo' Money!
Some of you snowflake, some of you squirrel, some of you fret and get down on yourselves. it's time to get cracking. Envision gaining more money and then go about your day like you would, not giving it a second thought. Repeat the thought each day and pretty soon you'll start seeing dimes on the ground, mysterious checks will appear in the mail from things you forgot. You'll return something you didn't need and transfer the money to your debt instead. A friend will call asking you to do something for them and offering to pay you a bit. Your CD's that haven't been listened to will be downloaded onto your computer and a store near you will buy them back. You'll start finding things in your house that you can give as gifts, and not have to use the money in your Clothing and Gifts column and move it to debt. You'll learn that there is a stagnant bank account with your name on it and you'll get the money back from the bank! You'll get a raise! Who knows!
It's only 8 months! 8 of them. Let's see what we can do in 8 months.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The Need to Shed the Excess
I've been in this funk for a while. Each day I wake up and look at my closet. Each day I take a look in there and find there "isn't anything" to wear. Well that's totally not true. it's more like i have a bunch of clothing but I don't want to wear it. Why? Mostly because a growing number of pieces I once loved are becoming way too small for me.
Crap! I have an overwhelming urge to purge through a bunch of it. But I seem to be caught.
Spring is here, but the weather has been slightly unpredictable lately, which means that my plan to begin riding my bike to work each day is on hold for a a few more weeks. There are pieces I will be getting rid of regardless of the size of my body, but there are some I really want to work to getting back into so I can get the wear out of them.
I've been reading some really great posts on minimizing your possessions, and I've been resonating with them on many levels. I've found myself purging things each Saturday - I'm a recycling machine lately! and I know that's it's because I'm just needing to off load the burden of my materialism right now. I really love experiencing life and feel that I have no need for possessions I once used purely because I'm just not "that" girl anymore. I was in my early 20's, but now 10 years later, I'm finding it isn't about what you have, but what you experiencing.
Want some great reading? Then head on over to The Everyday Minimalist. This lady really has her priorities in order.
I haven't figured out if I just want to offload my stuff and enjoy the liberation or if I can wait for a few more months to get my body into a healthier state and be able to wear more of the pieces. I do have way too much in my closet. It's kind of stressing me out actually. I know for sure, I'll be spending some of my long weekend deciding what to do with my closet and my possessions. By decide, I mean have a "garage" sale with the stuff i don't want, but are still in great condition, or simply donate everything just to be done with it. Given that I'm working on getting out of debt, I'm very interested in having the sale, as I know there are some great things in there that will fetch a penny or two I can simply toss onto that debt to reduce it faster.
Keeping this in mind I've spent the last couple of days looking at everything I have in this apartment and I'm pretty sure I'll be purging out a whole bunch of stuff that I just don't use/need anymore. I am fortunate enough to know that there are a few places in my town that will actually take some of there pieces for cash so perhaps I'll be able to find some more money to drop on my debt. We'll see what I get into this upcoming Easter weekend.
Crap! I have an overwhelming urge to purge through a bunch of it. But I seem to be caught.
Spring is here, but the weather has been slightly unpredictable lately, which means that my plan to begin riding my bike to work each day is on hold for a a few more weeks. There are pieces I will be getting rid of regardless of the size of my body, but there are some I really want to work to getting back into so I can get the wear out of them.
I've been reading some really great posts on minimizing your possessions, and I've been resonating with them on many levels. I've found myself purging things each Saturday - I'm a recycling machine lately! and I know that's it's because I'm just needing to off load the burden of my materialism right now. I really love experiencing life and feel that I have no need for possessions I once used purely because I'm just not "that" girl anymore. I was in my early 20's, but now 10 years later, I'm finding it isn't about what you have, but what you experiencing.
Want some great reading? Then head on over to The Everyday Minimalist. This lady really has her priorities in order.
I haven't figured out if I just want to offload my stuff and enjoy the liberation or if I can wait for a few more months to get my body into a healthier state and be able to wear more of the pieces. I do have way too much in my closet. It's kind of stressing me out actually. I know for sure, I'll be spending some of my long weekend deciding what to do with my closet and my possessions. By decide, I mean have a "garage" sale with the stuff i don't want, but are still in great condition, or simply donate everything just to be done with it. Given that I'm working on getting out of debt, I'm very interested in having the sale, as I know there are some great things in there that will fetch a penny or two I can simply toss onto that debt to reduce it faster.
Keeping this in mind I've spent the last couple of days looking at everything I have in this apartment and I'm pretty sure I'll be purging out a whole bunch of stuff that I just don't use/need anymore. I am fortunate enough to know that there are a few places in my town that will actually take some of there pieces for cash so perhaps I'll be able to find some more money to drop on my debt. We'll see what I get into this upcoming Easter weekend.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Week Five: Greed
Oh Boy! Seven Worldly material desires.
1. HOUSE! (read really really really big house)- with a proper back yard in a lovely neighbourhood with good schools, close to work, and containing about 3 bedrooms, office space, 2.5 bathrooms and enough room for all of our love and life.
2. TELEPORTATION DEVICE - yep I'm a bit of a geek. I'd prefer to just teleport to my destination and teleport back. It's a much more convenient way to get about the world - and I'd be able to explore places over weekends and save all the nasty flying and waiting and sitting and waiting business.
3. PERSONAL JET AND ALL ACCOUTREMENTS - since I'm pretty sure number 2 is gong to take another 1000 years to master, I'll take one of these instead.
4. $100 MILLION DOLLARS - that's about what I figure it's gonna cost to have number 3 so we'll take that as well. Also this will help me take care of my grandparents, my mom, and le man's family. And give me a chance to make a sizable donation to my favourite charity and perhaps create a bursary fund at a school of my choosing.
5. A HOUSE KEEPER - not a glamorous item necessarily, but I'd love a housekeeper. It would help me out a lot since I really don't like doing the house work per se - but I do it because it keeps me healthy, makes my home feel shiny and new and it a necesary evil - have you seen hoarders?!
6. SEASON TICKETS FOR A SPORTS TEAM - I love sports - I'm pretty sure I'd love season tickets to a basketball or football team....though choosing just one would be a little difficult as there are a couple I like.
7. VILLA IN FRANCE OR ITALY - a vacation spot! Probably France since i can at least speak the language...and it's closer to the UK so I can chunnel.
Truthfully I had a hard time coming up with these items. Mainly because what I really, more than anything, is 6 weeks holidays each year and enough money to take one far away trip (read across an ocean) each year, and one trip around North America each year. This way I get to see the world and my home continent.
Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.
1. HOUSE! (read really really really big house)- with a proper back yard in a lovely neighbourhood with good schools, close to work, and containing about 3 bedrooms, office space, 2.5 bathrooms and enough room for all of our love and life.
2. TELEPORTATION DEVICE - yep I'm a bit of a geek. I'd prefer to just teleport to my destination and teleport back. It's a much more convenient way to get about the world - and I'd be able to explore places over weekends and save all the nasty flying and waiting and sitting and waiting business.
3. PERSONAL JET AND ALL ACCOUTREMENTS - since I'm pretty sure number 2 is gong to take another 1000 years to master, I'll take one of these instead.
4. $100 MILLION DOLLARS - that's about what I figure it's gonna cost to have number 3 so we'll take that as well. Also this will help me take care of my grandparents, my mom, and le man's family. And give me a chance to make a sizable donation to my favourite charity and perhaps create a bursary fund at a school of my choosing.
5. A HOUSE KEEPER - not a glamorous item necessarily, but I'd love a housekeeper. It would help me out a lot since I really don't like doing the house work per se - but I do it because it keeps me healthy, makes my home feel shiny and new and it a necesary evil - have you seen hoarders?!
6. SEASON TICKETS FOR A SPORTS TEAM - I love sports - I'm pretty sure I'd love season tickets to a basketball or football team....though choosing just one would be a little difficult as there are a couple I like.
7. VILLA IN FRANCE OR ITALY - a vacation spot! Probably France since i can at least speak the language...and it's closer to the UK so I can chunnel.
Truthfully I had a hard time coming up with these items. Mainly because what I really, more than anything, is 6 weeks holidays each year and enough money to take one far away trip (read across an ocean) each year, and one trip around North America each year. This way I get to see the world and my home continent.
Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.
Monday, April 18, 2011
April's Friendships
April is Friendship month. It is just over half way through the month and I've had some pretty big things happen so far. Friendships come in all shapes and sizes. It seems this month I'm having practice cultivating the friendships I have with my family and getting back into the groove with my circle of friends.
There are many things that have happened as of late that make this even more necessary.
After my family, I've been seeing my friends more regularly. My best guy friend having his daughter the day before my birthday was pretty cool and definitely warranted a visit to meet his little bundle and see how the parents are doing. Confirmed she is supremely adorable (they make good looking babies.)
In keeping with this, I'm not the only one that's realized we've all been out of touch. As such it was discussed on Friday that there are things coming up to get the friendships and relationships with each other back to where they were. I'd say before, but that before isn't really what I mean. I'm talking about, now that everyone is married (save moi) and most are now having children, we have to get better at keeping in each other's lives. I live more than 1.5 hours away form everyone now. It's tough to get to a lot of the things they have going on, purely because it's that long of a drive in the middle of a week.
So, we've started thinking about doing a Saturday every three months to see each other more, spend more time with each others kids and significants and showing these little people that just because you have babies and marriages doesn't mean you all start becoming hermits. It can be one. It's more work, but its' totally worth it!
What this will do, is make sure our children are all comfortable with everyone, which means that no matter what happens in life, they'll have a set of "Aunts and Uncles" that will always have their best interest at heart, and it means that my "Family" get a little more cohesive, and a lot more fun!!
Life has a way of helping you through tough times, but also showing you where your strengths and weaknesses are. I think it also helps that this motivational calendar has been helping me focus on aspects of my life that need to be addressed.
More great things to come this year and I can't wait to see where life takes me.
News with my grandfather has been sparing so far. The doctors have run a whole slew of tests, but nothing has come back yet. Basically we are all waiting to see if they can do anything, what they can do, or/and how long he may have left if we do nothing. He's 80. He's had a great life, done amazing things and is really happy with how things have gone.
This time we have with him is really about learning for me. It's about learning how he did things, what he was managing in his financial portfolio and why, how he decides to choose stocks and mutual fund so i can continue on my own. It's about learning his legacy and being able to go on without him. It's a sad time, but a happy time as well.
How are you all doing with your friendships and family relationships?
There are many things that have happened as of late that make this even more necessary.
After my family, I've been seeing my friends more regularly. My best guy friend having his daughter the day before my birthday was pretty cool and definitely warranted a visit to meet his little bundle and see how the parents are doing. Confirmed she is supremely adorable (they make good looking babies.)
In keeping with this, I'm not the only one that's realized we've all been out of touch. As such it was discussed on Friday that there are things coming up to get the friendships and relationships with each other back to where they were. I'd say before, but that before isn't really what I mean. I'm talking about, now that everyone is married (save moi) and most are now having children, we have to get better at keeping in each other's lives. I live more than 1.5 hours away form everyone now. It's tough to get to a lot of the things they have going on, purely because it's that long of a drive in the middle of a week.
So, we've started thinking about doing a Saturday every three months to see each other more, spend more time with each others kids and significants and showing these little people that just because you have babies and marriages doesn't mean you all start becoming hermits. It can be one. It's more work, but its' totally worth it!
What this will do, is make sure our children are all comfortable with everyone, which means that no matter what happens in life, they'll have a set of "Aunts and Uncles" that will always have their best interest at heart, and it means that my "Family" get a little more cohesive, and a lot more fun!!
Life has a way of helping you through tough times, but also showing you where your strengths and weaknesses are. I think it also helps that this motivational calendar has been helping me focus on aspects of my life that need to be addressed.
More great things to come this year and I can't wait to see where life takes me.
News with my grandfather has been sparing so far. The doctors have run a whole slew of tests, but nothing has come back yet. Basically we are all waiting to see if they can do anything, what they can do, or/and how long he may have left if we do nothing. He's 80. He's had a great life, done amazing things and is really happy with how things have gone.
This time we have with him is really about learning for me. It's about learning how he did things, what he was managing in his financial portfolio and why, how he decides to choose stocks and mutual fund so i can continue on my own. It's about learning his legacy and being able to go on without him. It's a sad time, but a happy time as well.
How are you all doing with your friendships and family relationships?
Friday, April 15, 2011
Something to Think About
I do not know the origin of this story. It was shared with me and I thought I'd like to share it with all of you. For those in a financial struggle, the message can apply to how you few the things you have and how you decide what things to bring into your life. For others the message will ring truth in a situation they've seen in their own lives.
No matter what the situation I think this applies to everyone in some way. Maybe it will help the person looking for something in shopping understand they have enough and need to look elsewhere for the thing they lack.
I did not write this story, but felt it was a good one to pass on. Today's post is brought to you by the writer of this story:
No matter what the situation I think this applies to everyone in some way. Maybe it will help the person looking for something in shopping understand they have enough and need to look elsewhere for the thing they lack.
I did not write this story, but felt it was a good one to pass on. Today's post is brought to you by the writer of this story:
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage/relationship!
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage/relationship!
Giving Life to the World
As it seems, I have one very important person in my life fighting for life, and one very important person in my life, bringing to the world life.
I have a best guy friend. No matter what is happening, he's been the guy to go to. He's great - because he isn't a girlfriend - and because he brings a different perspective to everything and he's been through the best and worst part of life with me. We've been friends since I was 14.
Last Thursday we weren't sure my grandfather was even going to make it through the night. At the same time a very tiny person was struggling to hang onto her place in this world. She was a flat birth - when the baby isn't breathing at all after birth and they work their medical magic to get her breathing again. The proud parents were able to take her home Sunday past and I spoke to them Monday past.
In the middle of all of my family stuff it is a nice reminder of the happiness in the world. I'll be going to see her this evening.
Though I am deeply saddened by the stuff with my grandfather - since he is the prominent father figure in my life - I am happy that my best friend is the father of an adorable (I'll verify this tonight) baby girl, and that he and his wife and daughter are doing well.
I can't wait to meet her and talk to the proud parents, and let their joy wash over me.
Name: Kylee Dawn [best guy friend's last name]
Weight: 7 lbs. 14 oz - good size girl
Length: 20.5 cm
I can't wait to hold her!!
I have a best guy friend. No matter what is happening, he's been the guy to go to. He's great - because he isn't a girlfriend - and because he brings a different perspective to everything and he's been through the best and worst part of life with me. We've been friends since I was 14.
Last Thursday we weren't sure my grandfather was even going to make it through the night. At the same time a very tiny person was struggling to hang onto her place in this world. She was a flat birth - when the baby isn't breathing at all after birth and they work their medical magic to get her breathing again. The proud parents were able to take her home Sunday past and I spoke to them Monday past.
In the middle of all of my family stuff it is a nice reminder of the happiness in the world. I'll be going to see her this evening.
Though I am deeply saddened by the stuff with my grandfather - since he is the prominent father figure in my life - I am happy that my best friend is the father of an adorable (I'll verify this tonight) baby girl, and that he and his wife and daughter are doing well.
I can't wait to meet her and talk to the proud parents, and let their joy wash over me.
Name: Kylee Dawn [best guy friend's last name]
Weight: 7 lbs. 14 oz - good size girl
Length: 20.5 cm
I can't wait to hold her!!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Eyes Wide Open
I wanted to post today about some things I discovered this week.
I am the older of two girls. Yep, I have a "little sister". She's not really little but she is younger. After a conversation on Monday, I realized that although my sister is the essence of and Ostrich when it comes to her finances, she was at least intelligent enough to realise this. She took herself to her bank and found herself a financial advisor. The financial advisor is distributing her lump sum payment to her debts, allocating money to the highest interest rate debt first and then so on down the line.
I mentioned to her that she should probably take a peak to make sure things are going smoothly with those and asked her what her debt free date is.
Remember, I said she was an ostrich. Her response. "Next Year!" Vague. I asked her for the exact date. She says, "my statement comes in soon, I'll check it and get back to you." Suuuure!
It's good that she's recognized that she can't handle money to save her life. (she gets that from my father, not my mother). I think she could be doing some things herself and have a more active role in her finances with the help of some of the stuff I've prepared for her birthday, and her financial advisor, but she's really not into it. I have a few small fears for her - one being that she had a problem with the previous bank she was with and them making an error that effectively maxed her line of credit, closed her accounts and cleaned out her bank account without her actually signing for it. That's the reason she switched banks in the first place. The second is that I'm pretty sure she'll be one of those women that just doesn't know anything about her money later in life and someone takes it all from her.
The best thing is that she's taking steps to slooo-ooo-oooowly learn about things she needs to know in regards to her finances. With the binder I'm making her, it'll help organize some of the stuff into sections and give her a more organized reference guide to learn on her own. She's never been one for learning when she doesn't have to, so I hope it'll get used the way it's meant to be , a bit at a time, when you have questions. Her dislike for all things scholastic ran so deep my mom had to make her a deal about her grades in order to play the sports she loved.
All I can say, is thank goodness for small steps. She's on the right track.
I am the older of two girls. Yep, I have a "little sister". She's not really little but she is younger. After a conversation on Monday, I realized that although my sister is the essence of and Ostrich when it comes to her finances, she was at least intelligent enough to realise this. She took herself to her bank and found herself a financial advisor. The financial advisor is distributing her lump sum payment to her debts, allocating money to the highest interest rate debt first and then so on down the line.
I mentioned to her that she should probably take a peak to make sure things are going smoothly with those and asked her what her debt free date is.
Remember, I said she was an ostrich. Her response. "Next Year!" Vague. I asked her for the exact date. She says, "my statement comes in soon, I'll check it and get back to you." Suuuure!
It's good that she's recognized that she can't handle money to save her life. (she gets that from my father, not my mother). I think she could be doing some things herself and have a more active role in her finances with the help of some of the stuff I've prepared for her birthday, and her financial advisor, but she's really not into it. I have a few small fears for her - one being that she had a problem with the previous bank she was with and them making an error that effectively maxed her line of credit, closed her accounts and cleaned out her bank account without her actually signing for it. That's the reason she switched banks in the first place. The second is that I'm pretty sure she'll be one of those women that just doesn't know anything about her money later in life and someone takes it all from her.
The best thing is that she's taking steps to slooo-ooo-oooowly learn about things she needs to know in regards to her finances. With the binder I'm making her, it'll help organize some of the stuff into sections and give her a more organized reference guide to learn on her own. She's never been one for learning when she doesn't have to, so I hope it'll get used the way it's meant to be , a bit at a time, when you have questions. Her dislike for all things scholastic ran so deep my mom had to make her a deal about her grades in order to play the sports she loved.
All I can say, is thank goodness for small steps. She's on the right track.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
When the World Comes Crashing In
Lots of you don't know my entire life. I don't talk a lot about my family, except to rant a little on here. though things you may know - my parents separated when I was 15. I've been raised by my grandmother my whole life (mom had to go back to work after 3 months of maternity leave as those were the rules then.) We moved in with my grandparents when I was 10 and never left.
The reason I'm letting you know this - or recapping here, is that my grandfather celebrated his 80th birthday...and was admitted to hospital this past week with the return of his cancer.
I was away from work on Friday after getting the call. We didn't know if he was even going to make it through the weekend. He's still hanging in there. They are doing all kinds of tests. I spent the weekend at home with my mom and grandma, doing things around the house to keep them both occupied, mentally, and so that when my grandfather started worrying about those things we could tell him they were taken care of.
Remember how I said I hadn't transferred that money to the debt yet? Something told me not to right away. Now I know it was that intuition thing I have when it comes to these things. They money is still sitting in my account, but now it's there in case there's anything weird that comes up in terms of expenses related to increased driving to and from my family home. They live an hour away from where I currently live, and with gas at a stupidly high level, it's going to cost a small fortune to keep running back and forth.
I'm down to two days of holidays left because of the operation le man underwent back in February that caused me to eat up a week, and the two days I took off at my sisters wedding come from that total too.
My point in all this is truly this. You NEED AN EMERGENCY FUND! Get $1,000 saved as quickly as possible and resolve to leave it alone. True emergencis are what counts...not that pair of shoes, or that tattoo, or whatever else you have to use it when it really isn't an emergency. You never know when life will deal you a horrible card and you have to play it because that's what you've got. For the next little while I'll be sticking close to my family while the doctors figure out what they can do for the tumors and for him. At the moment they are checking to see how far spread the cancer is this time. He's running out of things they can take out of him, so the doctors need to be sure they can get it all. If tests show it's moved to other organs (liver, spleen, lungs, lymph system) then there really isn't a point in removing the tumors currently present in the colon, on the urethra or ureter, and potentially in one or both kidneys. He's already missing his bladder, prostate and 3 feet of colon, and had chemo and radiation for everything. He was diagnosed 12 years ago, and it returns every 4 or so years. So this very well may be it.
Seems like I'm about to go through some pretty big life tests this next little while.
The reason I'm letting you know this - or recapping here, is that my grandfather celebrated his 80th birthday...and was admitted to hospital this past week with the return of his cancer.
I was away from work on Friday after getting the call. We didn't know if he was even going to make it through the weekend. He's still hanging in there. They are doing all kinds of tests. I spent the weekend at home with my mom and grandma, doing things around the house to keep them both occupied, mentally, and so that when my grandfather started worrying about those things we could tell him they were taken care of.
Remember how I said I hadn't transferred that money to the debt yet? Something told me not to right away. Now I know it was that intuition thing I have when it comes to these things. They money is still sitting in my account, but now it's there in case there's anything weird that comes up in terms of expenses related to increased driving to and from my family home. They live an hour away from where I currently live, and with gas at a stupidly high level, it's going to cost a small fortune to keep running back and forth.
I'm down to two days of holidays left because of the operation le man underwent back in February that caused me to eat up a week, and the two days I took off at my sisters wedding come from that total too.
My point in all this is truly this. You NEED AN EMERGENCY FUND! Get $1,000 saved as quickly as possible and resolve to leave it alone. True emergencis are what counts...not that pair of shoes, or that tattoo, or whatever else you have to use it when it really isn't an emergency. You never know when life will deal you a horrible card and you have to play it because that's what you've got. For the next little while I'll be sticking close to my family while the doctors figure out what they can do for the tumors and for him. At the moment they are checking to see how far spread the cancer is this time. He's running out of things they can take out of him, so the doctors need to be sure they can get it all. If tests show it's moved to other organs (liver, spleen, lungs, lymph system) then there really isn't a point in removing the tumors currently present in the colon, on the urethra or ureter, and potentially in one or both kidneys. He's already missing his bladder, prostate and 3 feet of colon, and had chemo and radiation for everything. He was diagnosed 12 years ago, and it returns every 4 or so years. So this very well may be it.
Seems like I'm about to go through some pretty big life tests this next little while.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Week Four: Sloth
Oh goodness....sloth!
Seven things I neglect to do...
1. PROCRASTINATE ON NEARLY EVERYTHING - I neglect a lot of things that I should be doing during the day because I procrastinate a little, but mostly because I just don't feel like it. I handle so many things in a day that it makes it hard to want to do any more. I have little piles of things in my apartment that I need to take care of. I procrastinate - or better still find something else I want to do instead. Sometimes if I'd done these items a little sooner I wouldn't forget I have coupons for cool things, and I'd feel more productive each day. I have a bunch of crafty things I started over the years and haven't yet finished. Its one of those things I want to do them for a couple of months but they take some more time than what I've given them so they sit - often for years, before I finish them...
2. FILING - I pile. I pile until Friday and then I file. Sometimes I shuffle things that aren't readily put away for weeks on end. Case in point, I have a half finished family picture album for my sister, and my mother. They've been half finished for years now. I have books I keep meaning to read. I have bills and important papers that I read, pay and then pile. But I know where everything is and exactly what pile it's all in. My place isn't messy but you'll find a pile in every room!
3. CALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS - I love them all, but I'm not exactly the best person to call home or my close friends regularly. Sometimes I'm horrible for this. I can't blame them for not calling me often - if I don't do it then why should I expect it from them?
4. MAKE MY BED EVERY DAY - sounds funny, but I used to get up each morning and make my bed every day. It makes/made me feel better to come home and see it made. I don't make it everyday at the moment because le man is often still in it when I leave. When he goes back to work this will change again though. I'll be able to make it before I leave again. On weekend though - it's not made unless I'm cleaning. And even then it's only made because I can't vacuum under the blankets pooled on the floor.
5. TAKE APPROPRIATE TIME FOR MYSELF - I'm a busy person and I like to be. I tend to give up my personal time to do something fun with others, play a team sport, kick box, go out to dinner, Gail Club, the gym, etc. Which often means I am a recluse on the weekends, with a book and a bath and comfy bed.
6. CLEAN - I'm getting really bad for this. I spend a lot of time wasting time doing unnecessary things like watching TV all Saturday afternoon. I think it's from being a little burnt out. But seriously I can be a better cleaner - by cleaning I mean vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing the bathroom, taking the garbage out, and putting my stuff away.
7. PURGE - I'm a bit of a hoarder. Though I do have weeks when I purge like a maniac and wonder why I keep what I keep most of the time because I don't use the stuff. With this is also knowing what I have. Guess that comes from organizing stuff into non-see-through boxes and then forgetting what is there. I'm getting a lot better at this but it is something I neglect.
I've really had to grasp at this. I even asked le man about what he thought I neglected. Other than coming up with things he'd love for me to start doing - making cookies every weekend, rubbing his feet (ick!), or funny things like that, he had a hard time with things other than what I have because I'm on top of everything he says.
I am working at correcting these items. I have a planner that has lists of things I need/want to accomplish, as well as my plan for the week. I get a couple of things done each week and try for one of the items I have on the master list a month. I still have a lot to do.
Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.
Seven things I neglect to do...
1. PROCRASTINATE ON NEARLY EVERYTHING - I neglect a lot of things that I should be doing during the day because I procrastinate a little, but mostly because I just don't feel like it. I handle so many things in a day that it makes it hard to want to do any more. I have little piles of things in my apartment that I need to take care of. I procrastinate - or better still find something else I want to do instead. Sometimes if I'd done these items a little sooner I wouldn't forget I have coupons for cool things, and I'd feel more productive each day. I have a bunch of crafty things I started over the years and haven't yet finished. Its one of those things I want to do them for a couple of months but they take some more time than what I've given them so they sit - often for years, before I finish them...
2. FILING - I pile. I pile until Friday and then I file. Sometimes I shuffle things that aren't readily put away for weeks on end. Case in point, I have a half finished family picture album for my sister, and my mother. They've been half finished for years now. I have books I keep meaning to read. I have bills and important papers that I read, pay and then pile. But I know where everything is and exactly what pile it's all in. My place isn't messy but you'll find a pile in every room!
3. CALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS - I love them all, but I'm not exactly the best person to call home or my close friends regularly. Sometimes I'm horrible for this. I can't blame them for not calling me often - if I don't do it then why should I expect it from them?
4. MAKE MY BED EVERY DAY - sounds funny, but I used to get up each morning and make my bed every day. It makes/made me feel better to come home and see it made. I don't make it everyday at the moment because le man is often still in it when I leave. When he goes back to work this will change again though. I'll be able to make it before I leave again. On weekend though - it's not made unless I'm cleaning. And even then it's only made because I can't vacuum under the blankets pooled on the floor.
5. TAKE APPROPRIATE TIME FOR MYSELF - I'm a busy person and I like to be. I tend to give up my personal time to do something fun with others, play a team sport, kick box, go out to dinner, Gail Club, the gym, etc. Which often means I am a recluse on the weekends, with a book and a bath and comfy bed.
6. CLEAN - I'm getting really bad for this. I spend a lot of time wasting time doing unnecessary things like watching TV all Saturday afternoon. I think it's from being a little burnt out. But seriously I can be a better cleaner - by cleaning I mean vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing the bathroom, taking the garbage out, and putting my stuff away.
7. PURGE - I'm a bit of a hoarder. Though I do have weeks when I purge like a maniac and wonder why I keep what I keep most of the time because I don't use the stuff. With this is also knowing what I have. Guess that comes from organizing stuff into non-see-through boxes and then forgetting what is there. I'm getting a lot better at this but it is something I neglect.
I've really had to grasp at this. I even asked le man about what he thought I neglected. Other than coming up with things he'd love for me to start doing - making cookies every weekend, rubbing his feet (ick!), or funny things like that, he had a hard time with things other than what I have because I'm on top of everything he says.
I am working at correcting these items. I have a planner that has lists of things I need/want to accomplish, as well as my plan for the week. I get a couple of things done each week and try for one of the items I have on the master list a month. I still have a lot to do.
Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Changes
On my trip to the bank last week with my paycheck in my hot little hands, I had the teller make a change in my account. I bank with TD Canada trust for my main stuff, have two savings accounts at ING and a credit card with CIBC. (That's the card I'm paying off btw.)
My company still issues a physical paycheck each pay day that you have to tote to the bank. I don't use the ATM to deposit as I don't want anything held. I've been banking this way for a long time now.
I used to have the Infinity Account with TD. Unlimited transactions for the month, a $3,000 minimum balance to waive fees, otherwise a $12.95 fee charge each month. I looked at my history and decided to drop my account to a Value Plus. It's got 25 free transactions per month and costs $8.95 per month. If I maintain a minimum balance of $2,000 each day of the month than the fees are waived. A little more doable for me.
So I have a decision to make. With the addition of my paycheck my account balance is now at around $1,300. I haven't moved the money to the debt just yet, and with the lowering of the applicable transactions, and the fact that I do not carry my debit card with me anymore, I've reduced the risk of going over that number. Here's the thing. I'm working to get out of debt this year. It's super important to me. So far I haven't transferred any money to the debt this month. My payment is due by April 23, 2011. My next payday is April 21, 2011.
If I was to get my account up above the minimum and maintain that for the rest of the year, it would take me 3 months of paying the minimum on my debt to get there, and put me three months behind on my goal of Dec. 31, 2011. If I keep going as I am, I have about $200 in the account at all times and that will have to keep me in case of an emergency until the end of the year. (Like I mentioned before, I WAAAAYYY over spent in the time between Feb 10 and March 10, never mind the $1121 worth of car repairs on top of the overspending).
Well, since I postponed the financial planner for the year, I'm also going to postpone the account top up until January. Then I'll spend January, February and March making sure I have my account in such a way as to ensure that not a single bank fee is paid again.
At the end of the year I will spend $36 less on account fees. I'll have $4 more to add to the money left in my account each month. My next money finding mission will be to see if I can live on $40 per month Entertainment money. With spring finally taking shape and the weather becoming ever warmer, I'm also looking at hanging up my car for the summer months. On weekends and evenings in May I'll be riding my bike to and from where I work to condition my body such that when June hits I'll be able to leave my car at work (in case I need to use it), take my lunch and snacks with me to work, and start riding my bike to and from work each day. This will be a two-fold bonus for me.
Bonus #1: Cutting way down on the wear and tear on my car, and saving me money on repairs, and gas each week. (that's snowball money to the debt!!)
Bonus #2: I'll be exercising each day - riding a total of 20km (10km one way). This should have a very positive affect on my body. I'd like to get my weight down to a more respectable number - ideally 195. For those keen eyed readers, this is about 20 pounds for me.
Lots of things on the horizon to get me moving towards my financial goals, with a side benefit of trimming down my physique as well!
My company still issues a physical paycheck each pay day that you have to tote to the bank. I don't use the ATM to deposit as I don't want anything held. I've been banking this way for a long time now.
I used to have the Infinity Account with TD. Unlimited transactions for the month, a $3,000 minimum balance to waive fees, otherwise a $12.95 fee charge each month. I looked at my history and decided to drop my account to a Value Plus. It's got 25 free transactions per month and costs $8.95 per month. If I maintain a minimum balance of $2,000 each day of the month than the fees are waived. A little more doable for me.
So I have a decision to make. With the addition of my paycheck my account balance is now at around $1,300. I haven't moved the money to the debt just yet, and with the lowering of the applicable transactions, and the fact that I do not carry my debit card with me anymore, I've reduced the risk of going over that number. Here's the thing. I'm working to get out of debt this year. It's super important to me. So far I haven't transferred any money to the debt this month. My payment is due by April 23, 2011. My next payday is April 21, 2011.
If I was to get my account up above the minimum and maintain that for the rest of the year, it would take me 3 months of paying the minimum on my debt to get there, and put me three months behind on my goal of Dec. 31, 2011. If I keep going as I am, I have about $200 in the account at all times and that will have to keep me in case of an emergency until the end of the year. (Like I mentioned before, I WAAAAYYY over spent in the time between Feb 10 and March 10, never mind the $1121 worth of car repairs on top of the overspending).
Well, since I postponed the financial planner for the year, I'm also going to postpone the account top up until January. Then I'll spend January, February and March making sure I have my account in such a way as to ensure that not a single bank fee is paid again.
At the end of the year I will spend $36 less on account fees. I'll have $4 more to add to the money left in my account each month. My next money finding mission will be to see if I can live on $40 per month Entertainment money. With spring finally taking shape and the weather becoming ever warmer, I'm also looking at hanging up my car for the summer months. On weekends and evenings in May I'll be riding my bike to and from where I work to condition my body such that when June hits I'll be able to leave my car at work (in case I need to use it), take my lunch and snacks with me to work, and start riding my bike to and from work each day. This will be a two-fold bonus for me.
Bonus #1: Cutting way down on the wear and tear on my car, and saving me money on repairs, and gas each week. (that's snowball money to the debt!!)
Bonus #2: I'll be exercising each day - riding a total of 20km (10km one way). This should have a very positive affect on my body. I'd like to get my weight down to a more respectable number - ideally 195. For those keen eyed readers, this is about 20 pounds for me.
Lots of things on the horizon to get me moving towards my financial goals, with a side benefit of trimming down my physique as well!
Friday, April 08, 2011
Happy Birthday!
To Me! Yep, that's right! This lady is a year older...not in blogger terms but in life terms. Today is my birthday!
I firmly step into my 30's...and by that I mean I'm 29 with 3 years experience!
Since it's my birthday I thought I'd take this day to impart some wisdom and knowledge I've come by in the first third of my life.
Always Have a Plan
Yep. Always. Without a plan you'll be floating through life without purpose, direction, or a much-needed sense of accomplishment. You'll wake up one day and find that you don't like anything you've done with yourself or your life, go through a massive [fill in your tendency here] and come out the other side wondering why it took so long to wake up.
Be Present in the Now
I didn't say live for now. I didn't say that buying that really gorgeous pair of Louboutins will let you live in the now, and being present for this really doesn't count unless you make the money to support this type of shoe habit. I said be present. Stop wishing things will be different. Stop daydreaming for better days, past or future. These things are important to help you with your goal, but aren't going help you understand that what you are doing today is also important. Being present in the now has helped me find that small joy in a day when I'm otherwise too busy to see it. It's allowed me to understand that when I need to change my mood, something beautiful happens in life. There is a dove that sings it's morning song while sitting on the banister of my balcony. He/She has been there each morning since Monday. He/She sits in such a place that I can see and it, and it can see me. If it wasn't for the fact that I've been getting ready in my living room, I would have missed this first true sign of spring.
Another example - instead of being unhappy about the weather, the snow fall we had a couple of days ago - that blew in and out quite quickly, showing us that tranquility of a white wonderland one more time before spring flowers begin blooming - I took a few pictures of the world from my balcony to remind myself that though it is cold, it is still beautiful.
What things have you missed while you rush around your day thinking of the task you have to complete tonight, or the project that's due next Tuesday? Why not pay attention to what you are doing at the moment...who knows, it may even save your life.
Get the Heck Out of Debt!
Obviously this one is a little self-explanatory. No matter your age (and I hear all you 20-somethings thinking this!) get your finances under control. No they can't wait. No they won't fix themselves and yes you do have to do this even if you live with your parents still. I wasted 10 years of fighting this battle with myself. It's a life-long process. So get started. And do it every day. Ya, and I want too, but seriously you don't want a $19,500 debt...and yes it WILL happen to you. At some point. Probably tomorrow after you buy that [fill in purchase here] that you really didn't need because you already have 6 of the same thing.
Do One Thing a Week Just for You
This is a big one. Find one thing each week you can do just for yourself. It's how you stay happy. It's how you stay sane, and how you accomplish all of the things you want to do. That's 52 different, or similar things each year, just for yourself. Maybe it's spend a morning reading a book. Or taking a bubble bath uninterrupted. Or taking a walk in your local wooded area. Or photographing things. Scrapbooking. Having a lovely meal at a restaurant. Doing brunch with your girlfriends. Watching a movie and eating movie theatre popcorn. Cycling your way to another province. There's all kinds of things!! But do one that makes you feel great each week.
Smile (and even laugh as often as possible)
All the time. Lots of the time. Each day. It's amazing that just turning the corners of your lips upward will serve to brighten someone's day somewhere, if not your own. I do this once a day to a stranger and watch their reaction. I also look for something to full-out laugh about each day. yep I mean it.
Say Thank You - and Mean It! (Gratitude is an Attitude)
Kinda like smiling, but shows that you have manners, are polite and can unconsciously go to melt someone's cold heart. The lady at the coffee shop that takes your order can have just as bad a day as the next person. Thanking someone should always be heart felt and not automated. I didn't say automatic since it really should be automatic. You know those people that you say have a nice day and they give you back a blank look, don't even look at you, or worse, grunt at you? Ya, what do you think when you get one of those? hmm.... ever do it yourself? That's what I thought.
To all the readers of this blog - Thank you very much for showing me you listen, sending advice, and just plan reading the text I write each day. Your eyes keep me accountable to my goals and inspire me to keep going. Many of you I've never met. I'm glad to be on this quest with you all.
Never Think You are Alone
If I've learned anything, it's that no matter what is happening you aren't alone. Someone somewhere is facing the same or even worse that you. Someone, somewhere is reading your little story and identifying with it. Someone, somewhere has been waiting for you to enter their lives and impart your wisdom. There's is help. You just have to look for it, or ask for it. There is someone that wants to know how you are doing.
I get down and depressed. I've been through depression before. I've had hardship in my life. I know you have too. You aren't alone. And you do not journey alone, though sometimes it is your turn to carry it for a while.
Alright - enough of that now! It's time to celebrate. I am a little older. I am also 9 months away from being debt free! Yep 9 to go!! Have a good weekend everyone!
I firmly step into my 30's...and by that I mean I'm 29 with 3 years experience!
Since it's my birthday I thought I'd take this day to impart some wisdom and knowledge I've come by in the first third of my life.
Always Have a Plan
Yep. Always. Without a plan you'll be floating through life without purpose, direction, or a much-needed sense of accomplishment. You'll wake up one day and find that you don't like anything you've done with yourself or your life, go through a massive [fill in your tendency here] and come out the other side wondering why it took so long to wake up.
Be Present in the Now
I didn't say live for now. I didn't say that buying that really gorgeous pair of Louboutins will let you live in the now, and being present for this really doesn't count unless you make the money to support this type of shoe habit. I said be present. Stop wishing things will be different. Stop daydreaming for better days, past or future. These things are important to help you with your goal, but aren't going help you understand that what you are doing today is also important. Being present in the now has helped me find that small joy in a day when I'm otherwise too busy to see it. It's allowed me to understand that when I need to change my mood, something beautiful happens in life. There is a dove that sings it's morning song while sitting on the banister of my balcony. He/She has been there each morning since Monday. He/She sits in such a place that I can see and it, and it can see me. If it wasn't for the fact that I've been getting ready in my living room, I would have missed this first true sign of spring.
Another example - instead of being unhappy about the weather, the snow fall we had a couple of days ago - that blew in and out quite quickly, showing us that tranquility of a white wonderland one more time before spring flowers begin blooming - I took a few pictures of the world from my balcony to remind myself that though it is cold, it is still beautiful.
What things have you missed while you rush around your day thinking of the task you have to complete tonight, or the project that's due next Tuesday? Why not pay attention to what you are doing at the moment...who knows, it may even save your life.
Get the Heck Out of Debt!
Obviously this one is a little self-explanatory. No matter your age (and I hear all you 20-somethings thinking this!) get your finances under control. No they can't wait. No they won't fix themselves and yes you do have to do this even if you live with your parents still. I wasted 10 years of fighting this battle with myself. It's a life-long process. So get started. And do it every day. Ya, and I want too, but seriously you don't want a $19,500 debt...and yes it WILL happen to you. At some point. Probably tomorrow after you buy that [fill in purchase here] that you really didn't need because you already have 6 of the same thing.
Do One Thing a Week Just for You
This is a big one. Find one thing each week you can do just for yourself. It's how you stay happy. It's how you stay sane, and how you accomplish all of the things you want to do. That's 52 different, or similar things each year, just for yourself. Maybe it's spend a morning reading a book. Or taking a bubble bath uninterrupted. Or taking a walk in your local wooded area. Or photographing things. Scrapbooking. Having a lovely meal at a restaurant. Doing brunch with your girlfriends. Watching a movie and eating movie theatre popcorn. Cycling your way to another province. There's all kinds of things!! But do one that makes you feel great each week.
Smile (and even laugh as often as possible)
All the time. Lots of the time. Each day. It's amazing that just turning the corners of your lips upward will serve to brighten someone's day somewhere, if not your own. I do this once a day to a stranger and watch their reaction. I also look for something to full-out laugh about each day. yep I mean it.
Say Thank You - and Mean It! (Gratitude is an Attitude)
Kinda like smiling, but shows that you have manners, are polite and can unconsciously go to melt someone's cold heart. The lady at the coffee shop that takes your order can have just as bad a day as the next person. Thanking someone should always be heart felt and not automated. I didn't say automatic since it really should be automatic. You know those people that you say have a nice day and they give you back a blank look, don't even look at you, or worse, grunt at you? Ya, what do you think when you get one of those? hmm.... ever do it yourself? That's what I thought.
To all the readers of this blog - Thank you very much for showing me you listen, sending advice, and just plan reading the text I write each day. Your eyes keep me accountable to my goals and inspire me to keep going. Many of you I've never met. I'm glad to be on this quest with you all.
Never Think You are Alone
If I've learned anything, it's that no matter what is happening you aren't alone. Someone somewhere is facing the same or even worse that you. Someone, somewhere is reading your little story and identifying with it. Someone, somewhere has been waiting for you to enter their lives and impart your wisdom. There's is help. You just have to look for it, or ask for it. There is someone that wants to know how you are doing.
I get down and depressed. I've been through depression before. I've had hardship in my life. I know you have too. You aren't alone. And you do not journey alone, though sometimes it is your turn to carry it for a while.
Alright - enough of that now! It's time to celebrate. I am a little older. I am also 9 months away from being debt free! Yep 9 to go!! Have a good weekend everyone!
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Well it's "That" Day again!
Yep Pay Day!
By now you know how much I love these days. I get paid for the work I do. I give half of it to the credit card company, 2/3 of the left over becomes my budget for the next month. The remaining bit is left for the bills I have to cover.
Seriously though, my favourite part of this day - and it comes every other week - is that I am one step closer to being out of debt!!
I'm not like some PF bloggers, I don't give you a spending recap each week. I don't because I'm not really interested in what you spent. I'm more interested in whether or not you did what you were supposed to do, and took another step to your goal. I could post my stuff each week. Maybe it'll keep me that much more accountable. Yes it's easy for me to type away at what I'm doing to get out of debt but seriously, unless i"m posting those spending recaps, how do you really know? I suppose as a reader you really don't.
Perhaps I'll take some time to think about putting my own spin on those recap days. I have a budget. I spend $600 a month on my "life" stuff. There are months - like the one I had in Feb/Mar that I overspend, but I tell you about it. I don't hide.
My budget for the month - and by month I mean I take the money out of my account the day I get the first paycheck in the month. I don't take money out again until the first paycheck of the next month.
So - just for you all to see:
Food $200
Transportation $180
Medical $125
Clothing and Gifts $45
Entertainment $50
That's how it breaks out. Sometimes I go a little over and have to juggle around in the categories, there are moments when I pull out the debit card, but I haven't used that credit card and that's what I'm looking for here.
Off to the bank I go with my checks in hand and my heart happy. Then off to home to move that money to that debt and start dropping that $19,500 down below $18,000.
By now you know how much I love these days. I get paid for the work I do. I give half of it to the credit card company, 2/3 of the left over becomes my budget for the next month. The remaining bit is left for the bills I have to cover.
Seriously though, my favourite part of this day - and it comes every other week - is that I am one step closer to being out of debt!!
I'm not like some PF bloggers, I don't give you a spending recap each week. I don't because I'm not really interested in what you spent. I'm more interested in whether or not you did what you were supposed to do, and took another step to your goal. I could post my stuff each week. Maybe it'll keep me that much more accountable. Yes it's easy for me to type away at what I'm doing to get out of debt but seriously, unless i"m posting those spending recaps, how do you really know? I suppose as a reader you really don't.
Perhaps I'll take some time to think about putting my own spin on those recap days. I have a budget. I spend $600 a month on my "life" stuff. There are months - like the one I had in Feb/Mar that I overspend, but I tell you about it. I don't hide.
My budget for the month - and by month I mean I take the money out of my account the day I get the first paycheck in the month. I don't take money out again until the first paycheck of the next month.
So - just for you all to see:
Food $200
Transportation $180
Medical $125
Clothing and Gifts $45
Entertainment $50
That's how it breaks out. Sometimes I go a little over and have to juggle around in the categories, there are moments when I pull out the debit card, but I haven't used that credit card and that's what I'm looking for here.
Off to the bank I go with my checks in hand and my heart happy. Then off to home to move that money to that debt and start dropping that $19,500 down below $18,000.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
A Financial Plan by a Professional
A little while ago I was listening to the radio one Saturday while driving to something for my sister's wedding. The person was offering a few items if you called in and asked the "expert" a question regarding finances. I did this. I got a new edition of the Wealthy Barber and an hour of time with this financial advisor. I do not have an financial advisor so I was using this time to ask them questions about things I've had questions about. We went through an exercise. He explained that with my permission he'd make notes, ask me for a few key pieces of information to be dropped off later, and build me a complete financial plan based on our time together.
This was a no obligation plan build - which I got to keep for a week - at which time I decided if I found merit in what he had prepared. If yes, I would pay him $250 for a year of service. If not, I simply returned the plan intact and went about life. He keeps the plans on file for a year to see if you change your mind.
When I went to discuss the plan with him - pick it up from him - I entered expecting a few stapled sheets showing me how he could make me all kinds of money simply by doing the things he told me to do but not actually telling me what they were. I was not expecting a leather 2 inch binder, complete with a table of contents and dividers for each section of material, a full plan, some examples of how to maximize my passive income while reducing my overall risk. Details about the financial journey I want to take in life, a section on mortgage rates, details about my life insurance coverage, my critical illness coverage, and the fact that I'm adequately covered with the policies I have and that he thinks they are good. I was not expecting his code of ethics, information about the company he represents, references form clients, the bank and an accountant and to be told to call anyone on the list to discuss his services openly.
I was blown away that he spent some time to go through what he felt was important for me to know at that moment, while informing me that there was more in there for me to read on my own and ask questions to him. I was not expecting him to applaud my desire to be debt free this year, that I was paying nearly $2,000 toward my debt each month to make that happen, and that although he thinks I should still be paying myself fist, he understands that by sacrificing 12 months of not doing that I'd be in a much better position to move forward with my other financial goals in January.
More than anything he said, even if I chose not to go with his plan and he as an advisor now, he'd love an update at the end of the year to let him now if indeed I succeeded.
What I found most interesting was the day I gave him my information, my debt was at $21,000. According to his calculations I had a positive net worth of $1,370.00. Well it's positive!! Now that my debt is down to $19,500.00, my Net worth has risen to about $2,870.00!!
Soon I'll add a Net Worth tracker to this blog. Mainly because I can actually be happy about it! Keeping in mind that the Net Worth is based solely the amount that was in my bank account, the amount my RRSP's are worth, and the current value of my car, I haven't included things like the antiques in my apartment or the "stuff" I have. Mainly because it's a lot of stuff and I've not exactly assigned a value to anything. Our tenant insurance covers us for about $80,000 to replace the things we have. I'd have to sit down and do a more detailed list of items that I own to get a better idea of this. Something I'm not looking forward to doing right now. I'm still in purge and minimalize mode. When I get down with that mode, I'll be able to reassess everything that's we have and make a list...though I fear that will be a month of doing one room at a time to itemize everything...
The plan itself and to sign up with this financial planner will cost me $250.00. I'm definitely thinking of signing up. Here's the hangup though...
All of my money for this year is being dumped onto the debt. The last time I was presented with something I really wanted - but didn't actually need yet - I wavered and ended up derailing myself on my journey. This year I have resolved to put every cent of extra money onto my debt, including my tax refund, and my mileage checks from work, and any other avenue by which I attain cash outside of my standard paycheck. I feel that the plan is a test for me. I don't need a planner while I'm getting out of debt, but next year - yep I think a planner is the way to go. I'll have a bunch more things coming up that I'd like the advantage of seeking advice on, and having someone that knows my history is bonus. Here's the best part. Said financial planner gave me the binder with everything in it. I've been a busy beaver and will be photocopying it for myself. Then when I reach debt free I'll call him up, ask him to make the adjustments I want put in there and start with his business.
So, while I love the plan, and think I can really rock it out of the park, I know I'm being tested by the Universe/God on my resolve to meet my goal of debt-freedom this year. I just can't justify the $250 being diverted to this plan right now. I know what the first $250 of MY money will be going to once I'm debt free though!!
This was a no obligation plan build - which I got to keep for a week - at which time I decided if I found merit in what he had prepared. If yes, I would pay him $250 for a year of service. If not, I simply returned the plan intact and went about life. He keeps the plans on file for a year to see if you change your mind.
When I went to discuss the plan with him - pick it up from him - I entered expecting a few stapled sheets showing me how he could make me all kinds of money simply by doing the things he told me to do but not actually telling me what they were. I was not expecting a leather 2 inch binder, complete with a table of contents and dividers for each section of material, a full plan, some examples of how to maximize my passive income while reducing my overall risk. Details about the financial journey I want to take in life, a section on mortgage rates, details about my life insurance coverage, my critical illness coverage, and the fact that I'm adequately covered with the policies I have and that he thinks they are good. I was not expecting his code of ethics, information about the company he represents, references form clients, the bank and an accountant and to be told to call anyone on the list to discuss his services openly.
I was blown away that he spent some time to go through what he felt was important for me to know at that moment, while informing me that there was more in there for me to read on my own and ask questions to him. I was not expecting him to applaud my desire to be debt free this year, that I was paying nearly $2,000 toward my debt each month to make that happen, and that although he thinks I should still be paying myself fist, he understands that by sacrificing 12 months of not doing that I'd be in a much better position to move forward with my other financial goals in January.
More than anything he said, even if I chose not to go with his plan and he as an advisor now, he'd love an update at the end of the year to let him now if indeed I succeeded.
What I found most interesting was the day I gave him my information, my debt was at $21,000. According to his calculations I had a positive net worth of $1,370.00. Well it's positive!! Now that my debt is down to $19,500.00, my Net worth has risen to about $2,870.00!!
Soon I'll add a Net Worth tracker to this blog. Mainly because I can actually be happy about it! Keeping in mind that the Net Worth is based solely the amount that was in my bank account, the amount my RRSP's are worth, and the current value of my car, I haven't included things like the antiques in my apartment or the "stuff" I have. Mainly because it's a lot of stuff and I've not exactly assigned a value to anything. Our tenant insurance covers us for about $80,000 to replace the things we have. I'd have to sit down and do a more detailed list of items that I own to get a better idea of this. Something I'm not looking forward to doing right now. I'm still in purge and minimalize mode. When I get down with that mode, I'll be able to reassess everything that's we have and make a list...though I fear that will be a month of doing one room at a time to itemize everything...
The plan itself and to sign up with this financial planner will cost me $250.00. I'm definitely thinking of signing up. Here's the hangup though...
All of my money for this year is being dumped onto the debt. The last time I was presented with something I really wanted - but didn't actually need yet - I wavered and ended up derailing myself on my journey. This year I have resolved to put every cent of extra money onto my debt, including my tax refund, and my mileage checks from work, and any other avenue by which I attain cash outside of my standard paycheck. I feel that the plan is a test for me. I don't need a planner while I'm getting out of debt, but next year - yep I think a planner is the way to go. I'll have a bunch more things coming up that I'd like the advantage of seeking advice on, and having someone that knows my history is bonus. Here's the best part. Said financial planner gave me the binder with everything in it. I've been a busy beaver and will be photocopying it for myself. Then when I reach debt free I'll call him up, ask him to make the adjustments I want put in there and start with his business.
So, while I love the plan, and think I can really rock it out of the park, I know I'm being tested by the Universe/God on my resolve to meet my goal of debt-freedom this year. I just can't justify the $250 being diverted to this plan right now. I know what the first $250 of MY money will be going to once I'm debt free though!!
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Week Three: Wrath
This Week it's Wrath.
These are seven things that make you angry (piss you off).
1. PEOPLE WITH HORRIBLE TABLE MANNER AND WHO CHEW WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN! - this sends me into an twitchy fit trying to be polite about discretely saying something. In my experience, these people know they are doing these things, but when you say anything they offer the most ludicrous excuses for their behaviour. It's gross. It's rude, and seriously if I wanted to see pre-digested food I'd watch the countless video clips I have of the anatomy and physiology of human digestion. I do not need to see it while I'm trying to enjoy my food. It's so bad that this is even one of the criteria I screen potential suitors against. If I can't eat a meal with you then you aren't sticking around very long. To all those people that insist on mimicking a cow when they eat - please visit the farm and enjoy your meal in their company. I grew up in a fairly UK home (english/irish). The rule was if you couldn't eat well enough to be invited to tea with the Queen, then it wasn't good enough. Funny thing is, the person that was all over me when I was younger is now someone I can't have a meal with because her eating habits have deteriorated to the farm example I used above...and somehow she can't see it. See hypocritical people below!!
2. GOSSIPY, CATTY, RUDE PEOPLE - case in point, The Asian Pear has been dealing with someone that is displaying horrible behaviour - and I would have a problem with it myself. I don't mind listening to some bits of gossip now and then, but seriously if you spend more time on "oh my goodness did you see what she had on today, and did you hear her when we were working on the project?", I've got no use for you. It's ridiculous. It's cancerous in the workplace, and often results in you missing a promotion, not being offered the good projects and ultimately missing out on the really good things. Get over your high school clique. Welcome to the real world.
3. HORRIBLE DRIVERS! - I live in a place that has an expressway in the middle of it. Each morning I get on this expressway, get into the right hand lane - as I will be getting off very soon - and have to endure the regular people that are in too much of a rush to check their left blind spot before attempting to merge with my lane. Every morning I get *this close* to being slammed into by unsuspecting drivers because they don't look and then signal and then change lanes. They change lanes, signal then look. There are many other examples but this drives me nuts.
4. WHEN YOU ASK IF I'M BUSY WHEN YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE I'M WORKING ON SOMETHING. - This is most often be met with a snarky, sarcastic, remark about the fact that I get paid to stare at a computer all day, randomly move my fingers over keys and click the mouse hap-hazardly to make it seem like I'm working but I'm not actually doing anything. If you need me for something, why not try asking for five minutes of my time to help you with something. Starting with "are you busy" also implies that what I do for you everyday isn't work and that a monkey could do what I'm doing. I keep your business running. I keep you compliant with the multitude of regulations we need to comply with, and I'm the only one that works a full day - while you all are off playing Sudoku or lunching with your "buddies'. Yes I'm $#%@&^%$ busy !!! GRR!!
5. BULLYING - for any reason by any one at any age. It happens all the time. Even comments on my friends facebook pages I take offense to sometimes. Using derogatory words to describe things about someone else is a passive form of bullying. Calling someone that is clearly bigger than others - fatty - is silently bullying that person and not helping their self image. Why not use their name, say the person in the red shirt, or something else to describe them. This drives me up the wall.
6. NEGATIVE/NARROW-MINDED PEOPLE - these are the kind that are always complaining about everything in their lives and can't even see that they are fortunate to have what they have. My sister does this all the time - I don't have any money, I didn't get an interview because the company is just stupid, mom is always picking on me. Regardless, you haven't been through anything really, and your situation is most often caused by your negative outlook on life. When someone points out the many positives, do not try to come up with more negative things. It's not a race or a game. For crying out loud if you want to squander your chances in life go ahead but stop complaining about it!
7. HYPOCRITICAL PEOPLE - you say you want one thing from people, you go and do that stuff to others. My family lately is this way. Those that say OMG, I can't believe she did that! And then the next day they do the same thing. Oy! Also don't yell at me, or accuse me of something that you do yourself. This will only make my blood boil and my head come dangerously close to popping off my body due to rage - though I guess it's wrath really.
There are a couple of other things that kinda get me going, but these are the big ones. The last thing that really drives me nuts is when you say you are going to take me somewhere, or we're going to do something on such a day, then the day gets there and you pick a fight with me so you/we don't end up doing whatever it was, purely because you've decided you don't feel like doing it this week.
*I edited the spelling in this post after the fact. I apologize to those that read the blog and get twitchy due to my grammar and typing errors. I hope you feel better. I know I do, now that I fixed them.*
Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.
These are seven things that make you angry (piss you off).
1. PEOPLE WITH HORRIBLE TABLE MANNER AND WHO CHEW WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN! - this sends me into an twitchy fit trying to be polite about discretely saying something. In my experience, these people know they are doing these things, but when you say anything they offer the most ludicrous excuses for their behaviour. It's gross. It's rude, and seriously if I wanted to see pre-digested food I'd watch the countless video clips I have of the anatomy and physiology of human digestion. I do not need to see it while I'm trying to enjoy my food. It's so bad that this is even one of the criteria I screen potential suitors against. If I can't eat a meal with you then you aren't sticking around very long. To all those people that insist on mimicking a cow when they eat - please visit the farm and enjoy your meal in their company. I grew up in a fairly UK home (english/irish). The rule was if you couldn't eat well enough to be invited to tea with the Queen, then it wasn't good enough. Funny thing is, the person that was all over me when I was younger is now someone I can't have a meal with because her eating habits have deteriorated to the farm example I used above...and somehow she can't see it. See hypocritical people below!!
2. GOSSIPY, CATTY, RUDE PEOPLE - case in point, The Asian Pear has been dealing with someone that is displaying horrible behaviour - and I would have a problem with it myself. I don't mind listening to some bits of gossip now and then, but seriously if you spend more time on "oh my goodness did you see what she had on today, and did you hear her when we were working on the project?", I've got no use for you. It's ridiculous. It's cancerous in the workplace, and often results in you missing a promotion, not being offered the good projects and ultimately missing out on the really good things. Get over your high school clique. Welcome to the real world.
3. HORRIBLE DRIVERS! - I live in a place that has an expressway in the middle of it. Each morning I get on this expressway, get into the right hand lane - as I will be getting off very soon - and have to endure the regular people that are in too much of a rush to check their left blind spot before attempting to merge with my lane. Every morning I get *this close* to being slammed into by unsuspecting drivers because they don't look and then signal and then change lanes. They change lanes, signal then look. There are many other examples but this drives me nuts.
4. WHEN YOU ASK IF I'M BUSY WHEN YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE I'M WORKING ON SOMETHING. - This is most often be met with a snarky, sarcastic, remark about the fact that I get paid to stare at a computer all day, randomly move my fingers over keys and click the mouse hap-hazardly to make it seem like I'm working but I'm not actually doing anything. If you need me for something, why not try asking for five minutes of my time to help you with something. Starting with "are you busy" also implies that what I do for you everyday isn't work and that a monkey could do what I'm doing. I keep your business running. I keep you compliant with the multitude of regulations we need to comply with, and I'm the only one that works a full day - while you all are off playing Sudoku or lunching with your "buddies'. Yes I'm $#%@&^%$ busy !!! GRR!!
5. BULLYING - for any reason by any one at any age. It happens all the time. Even comments on my friends facebook pages I take offense to sometimes. Using derogatory words to describe things about someone else is a passive form of bullying. Calling someone that is clearly bigger than others - fatty - is silently bullying that person and not helping their self image. Why not use their name, say the person in the red shirt, or something else to describe them. This drives me up the wall.
6. NEGATIVE/NARROW-MINDED PEOPLE - these are the kind that are always complaining about everything in their lives and can't even see that they are fortunate to have what they have. My sister does this all the time - I don't have any money, I didn't get an interview because the company is just stupid, mom is always picking on me. Regardless, you haven't been through anything really, and your situation is most often caused by your negative outlook on life. When someone points out the many positives, do not try to come up with more negative things. It's not a race or a game. For crying out loud if you want to squander your chances in life go ahead but stop complaining about it!
7. HYPOCRITICAL PEOPLE - you say you want one thing from people, you go and do that stuff to others. My family lately is this way. Those that say OMG, I can't believe she did that! And then the next day they do the same thing. Oy! Also don't yell at me, or accuse me of something that you do yourself. This will only make my blood boil and my head come dangerously close to popping off my body due to rage - though I guess it's wrath really.
There are a couple of other things that kinda get me going, but these are the big ones. The last thing that really drives me nuts is when you say you are going to take me somewhere, or we're going to do something on such a day, then the day gets there and you pick a fight with me so you/we don't end up doing whatever it was, purely because you've decided you don't feel like doing it this week.
*I edited the spelling in this post after the fact. I apologize to those that read the blog and get twitchy due to my grammar and typing errors. I hope you feel better. I know I do, now that I fixed them.*
Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.
Monday, April 04, 2011
Things I'd do differently
Paying Myself and Give Me Back My Five Backs have each posted about things they'd do differently if given a second chance.
Here are mine:
1) I would not have become a consultant for Mary Kay. I would have remained a customer. I love the stuff but I'm not a good self-starter/sales person. This would have saved me $12,000 of the credit debt you see in my sidebars.
2) I would not have paid for a weightloss program that I stopped following 3 months in. This would have saved $5,000 of the credit card debt you see on the side bar....
(That $17,000 of debt between those two things.)
3) I would not have purchased a flat screen TV because le man's credit card was declined. The TV we had was fine. It still is - as my sister is now enjoying it. ($2,100 that also wouldn't have been on my card.)
4) I would have gotten myself out of debt in 2007 when it was scheduled originally, instead of incurring more as I went. The rest of the amount I owe can be attributed to being talked out of my constant tracking of my finances. Fast forward 4 years and that would have been time for me to save a proper emergency fund, increase my RRSP contributions and had three years of saving for a house by now.
5) I would not have moved in with le man while he was still living at mommies house. I would have gotten my own place and established myself and my space. That was 3 years of miserable times that I would love to have done differently.
6) I wouldn't have gotten a credit card while I was in University and stayed out of debt longer in my early 20's. This added to my inability to save more for school for many summers and work terms. I had to pay off my indiscretions each summer so I would start each school year without any credit card debt.
Though I found out a lot about myself, I don't need the price tags that came with that learning. Like I said, I can't wait to be done with this debt. I'm a much more financially smart person and I will not be making these mistakes anymore.
Here are mine:
1) I would not have become a consultant for Mary Kay. I would have remained a customer. I love the stuff but I'm not a good self-starter/sales person. This would have saved me $12,000 of the credit debt you see in my sidebars.
2) I would not have paid for a weightloss program that I stopped following 3 months in. This would have saved $5,000 of the credit card debt you see on the side bar....
(That $17,000 of debt between those two things.)
3) I would not have purchased a flat screen TV because le man's credit card was declined. The TV we had was fine. It still is - as my sister is now enjoying it. ($2,100 that also wouldn't have been on my card.)
4) I would have gotten myself out of debt in 2007 when it was scheduled originally, instead of incurring more as I went. The rest of the amount I owe can be attributed to being talked out of my constant tracking of my finances. Fast forward 4 years and that would have been time for me to save a proper emergency fund, increase my RRSP contributions and had three years of saving for a house by now.
5) I would not have moved in with le man while he was still living at mommies house. I would have gotten my own place and established myself and my space. That was 3 years of miserable times that I would love to have done differently.
6) I wouldn't have gotten a credit card while I was in University and stayed out of debt longer in my early 20's. This added to my inability to save more for school for many summers and work terms. I had to pay off my indiscretions each summer so I would start each school year without any credit card debt.
Though I found out a lot about myself, I don't need the price tags that came with that learning. Like I said, I can't wait to be done with this debt. I'm a much more financially smart person and I will not be making these mistakes anymore.
Friday, April 01, 2011
April: Friendship Month
April is Friendship month.
"Winning has always meant much to me; but winning friends has meant the most." Babe Didrikson Zaharias (golfer, Olympian, baseball player born in 1911)
On this note I am enjoying a few afternoons with some of my favourite people. Last Sunday, an afternoon with my best friend. The Sunday coming, I am meeting with some of my favourite ladies for a potluck lunch. We try and do these three or four times a year and April is the month we've chosen for this one. Great food, great company and much need girl time. I love getting together with my friends. I've also got an afternoon with another of my besties coming in April. Friends keep you going. They listen, they help you through life. They provide a good look into yourself with an unbiased opinion that you can't give yourself. They are also a great source of inspiration and accountability for your goals.
Your friends are an abundant source for everything - accountability, income, shoulders to vent on, tasty food experiences, slightly off the beaten path excursions and boundless memories. They are also a great source of all kinds of seemingly useless factoids, or the best alternate vision people for any situation you can come up with. Brain storming with them about everything is not only seriously fun, but often results in some crazy ideas!
Now I'm a bit strange because although I don't know a lot of PF bloggers personally, their opinions, thoughts and suggestions are often a great source of many of the above as well. Commentors here have been a great source for some of these things too.
For me having friends is keeping me accountable to myself for my goals, and giving me a push to keep going when I get tired or don't feel like it. This is essential for my success.
Tell everyone you can about your goal. Tell them exactly what you want to do, when you want to do it and tell them often. Let them bring it up in conversation, and remind you when you need it....like when you need an ice cream run so they bring out frozen fruit instead. Like when you meet for a pot luck and everything made is seriously healthy and so much more tasty that you leave with great new recipes and not feeling like you need to hit a gym.
I mean seriously, who else would drive two hours to rescue you from the throws of your chocolate craving, and the cry fest you've started because you were thinking about that guy years ago? Or who would know that although you say you're too busy to get together with you, showing up with tasty things in hand, for a simple drink with you when you've been working at the lab for 18 hours a day for three straight weeks, and have to go in at 3am to rescue bacteria colonies from their inhibitors, is the best and ultimate mental and physical treat ever?
Anyone ever have a friend arrive in the most necessary situation having dropped everything to come to you in your time of need? anyone ever been that friend? That, my friends, is the BEST thing about friends. They are willing to leave their lives to help you through something because you mean that much to them.
I have a great set of friends that I don't see as often as I would like, but whenever we do get together it's like no time has passed.
Friendship is a critical part of your success. So, don't do this alone. Tell them all. You'd be surprised what can come of it!
"Winning has always meant much to me; but winning friends has meant the most." Babe Didrikson Zaharias (golfer, Olympian, baseball player born in 1911)
On this note I am enjoying a few afternoons with some of my favourite people. Last Sunday, an afternoon with my best friend. The Sunday coming, I am meeting with some of my favourite ladies for a potluck lunch. We try and do these three or four times a year and April is the month we've chosen for this one. Great food, great company and much need girl time. I love getting together with my friends. I've also got an afternoon with another of my besties coming in April. Friends keep you going. They listen, they help you through life. They provide a good look into yourself with an unbiased opinion that you can't give yourself. They are also a great source of inspiration and accountability for your goals.
Your friends are an abundant source for everything - accountability, income, shoulders to vent on, tasty food experiences, slightly off the beaten path excursions and boundless memories. They are also a great source of all kinds of seemingly useless factoids, or the best alternate vision people for any situation you can come up with. Brain storming with them about everything is not only seriously fun, but often results in some crazy ideas!
Now I'm a bit strange because although I don't know a lot of PF bloggers personally, their opinions, thoughts and suggestions are often a great source of many of the above as well. Commentors here have been a great source for some of these things too.
For me having friends is keeping me accountable to myself for my goals, and giving me a push to keep going when I get tired or don't feel like it. This is essential for my success.
Tell everyone you can about your goal. Tell them exactly what you want to do, when you want to do it and tell them often. Let them bring it up in conversation, and remind you when you need it....like when you need an ice cream run so they bring out frozen fruit instead. Like when you meet for a pot luck and everything made is seriously healthy and so much more tasty that you leave with great new recipes and not feeling like you need to hit a gym.
I mean seriously, who else would drive two hours to rescue you from the throws of your chocolate craving, and the cry fest you've started because you were thinking about that guy years ago? Or who would know that although you say you're too busy to get together with you, showing up with tasty things in hand, for a simple drink with you when you've been working at the lab for 18 hours a day for three straight weeks, and have to go in at 3am to rescue bacteria colonies from their inhibitors, is the best and ultimate mental and physical treat ever?
Anyone ever have a friend arrive in the most necessary situation having dropped everything to come to you in your time of need? anyone ever been that friend? That, my friends, is the BEST thing about friends. They are willing to leave their lives to help you through something because you mean that much to them.
I have a great set of friends that I don't see as often as I would like, but whenever we do get together it's like no time has passed.
Friendship is a critical part of your success. So, don't do this alone. Tell them all. You'd be surprised what can come of it!
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