Wednesday, October 16, 2013

When Bullying Turns into Poor Sportsmanship

The sports we play have rules.  Those rules, from time to time, get updated.  When you've played a sport for more than 20 years you tend to overlook the rules and think you know them.

As adults we oft times find ourselves in situations we are used to hearing about as children or from our children.

When these situations arise as adults, how we handle them speaks volumes to our character and integrity.

Last night I found myself involved in one of these situations.  What transpired I wasn't completely privy to, and I should not have been.  What happened in the end was very childish in my opinion and should have been resolved at the time. 

In the end, feelings were heightened, rules were discussed, interpretations of words were skewed in favour of the offending team instead of the non-offending team, and many people left the game wondering if they really knew the rules or not.  At the end of it all, a game was won.  The validity of such will be contested.  And though it is hard to watch, I was not in a position to step in.

Because one person believed in their heart of hearts that a rule had been changed, but no record of such could be found in the rule book, they began bullying and belittling another.  The rules were found, and read, and the decision to let stand the original decision of the other person, was well within the rules to do so. 

Hand shakes at the end of the game did not occur.  Harsh words were exchanged.  And it boiled down to 2 small boys leaving the rink huffy over the situation. 

Sometimes you are presented with an opportunity to speak your mind and offer your opinion.  Sometimes you are wrong.  It is in those moments you need to recognize that you are about to fight for an opinion, that may in fact be wrong, with all of your gusto and come out looking like a bully and a child in the process.   Sometimes you need to decide if  you want to back down from the person throwing a hissy fight because they believe they are correct even when proven they are not. 

In the end, taking you integrity away from this kind of situation may have to be enough for you.  Even though you will experience self-doubt, guilt, and remorse for the situation, you must, when presented with the rules, understand that you are in the right, even in a bad situation. 

Our deep desire to make others feel better, regardless of whether they did something wrong or not, can often overrule a situation and make it worse for ourselves.  Sometimes it isn't worth the aggravation to win, even when you are correct.  


  1. Just wondering how you are doing. You haven't posted in awhile so I hope all is well with you. Happy New Year!

    1. Eboo!! I'm back! Been quite a year and I'm coming back stronger than ever! More determined and with a way better plan! How are you??


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